Leaderboard

I planned this surgery for a year. I dreamed about it for a lot longer than that. So, when my surgery finally got approved and scheduled, I immediately hid it from almost everyone close to me. No one at my office knows I was sleeved. Only my husband, best friend, 2nd Mom (my mom's best friend.... She stands in for my Mom), and one brother (of five siblings). Everyone else knows the "vague truth" story.... A procedure done to remove some of the fat in my liver and "roto-rooting" to discourage more fat build-up in my otherwise compromised liver. Still.... Sort of the truth. So, what's the big deal? Why am I hesitant to just say, "yeah, I got sleeved to lose weight?" Why is there shame around that? Is it because John Q Public who has always been height-weight proportionate is quick to judge it? It's the easy way out, right? More admiration and respect goes to those who lose weight on their own and keep it off. Right? Somehow, this is cheating? It's cheating to sacrifice 80% of a vital organ for the REST of my LIFE? It's the easy way out to never get to enjoy a big Thanksgiving meal with my family EVER again? I'm taking a short cut by undergoing general anesthesia and getting punctured - not once - but five times in the gut? It's just a vacation for me knowing my hair is going to fall out and I can only hope it grows back? Right. Still, I feel the social stigma of the shame that goes with. Today, I've been reflecting on this. And this is the peace I'm making with it. Society says they admire a person who loses weight "on their own." This includes people using appetite suppressants. An appetite suppressant is just a tool to prop them up, but THEY are the ones doing the HARD work. THEY are having to change their eating habits and choices. They couldn't do it without the appetite suppressant. It is a needed tool to accomplish their ultimate goal - lose weight. The sleeve IS AN APPETITE SUPPRESSANT. The difference is, IT actually WORKS, and works for the long-term FAR FAR FAR better than any prescription drug that is swallowed. And, I'm not adding chemicals to my body. I'm not forgetting to take it, or changing my mind about taking it, or dealing with unpleasant side effects. I have an appetite suppressant THAT REALLY WORKS! And, after the weight comes off, I won't rebound like most people do who "do it themselves" (according to John Q Public). So, I am thinking that we Sleevers have a responsibility to TEACH others. We have every right to hold our heads up with pride for being COURAGEOUS ENOUGH to make this lifelong commitment to change a lifelong brainwashing about healthy-eating and healthy-living. I refuse to accept any snide remarks from anyone. I will communicate pity to them for their ignorance and lack of evolving. And, I'll certainly offer to enlighten them on how one should think about their health going into the 21st Century. Sleeving isn't just giving me my life back. It is SAVING my life. I'm not ashamed of myself. I'm PROUD of me! I found a RELIABLE tool to use to lose weight. The most reliable tool available. This is the hardest work I've ever loved!

I am 16 days post op today. I have a non-scale victory to report. About eight months ago I took off the diamond ring my husband bought me for anniversary last year because it was cutting off my circulation. Once I took it off I couldn't get it back on. I was able to slip it on last night and there it stays! I have totally embrace this journey from day one of my preop diet and I don't hope that I will be successful I know that I will be successful. I'm down 22.6 pounds.

I was bad with my dinner last night. But I loved every bit of it. Today is another day and I will be better. I did not over eat, I just ate the wrong things. I had 3 coconut shrimp, great bread dunked in oil and cheese pizza. The local restaurant has a great football special when the N.E. Patriots play. Yes they won!!! On one of my other WLS groups one person spoke of her friend and by pass. The woman had by pass about 10 years ago and was doing great for a while. She is now in the hospital for revision. She stretched out her pouch and when the doctor went to sew her insides it was like cotton candy, her words not mine. The woman is on ice chips for a few days and in the hospital for at least 10 days. If that doesn't scare the S**T out of you, nothing will. ​I never was a drinker. In fact the last frozen Girl Scout cookie I had I broke out into hives and never had a drink since. That was over 15 years ago. So drinking was never anything I was going to miss with my journey. I never liked fast foods and yet I was and am obese. Fast food was always a comfort food but not for me. Give me bread and more bread, ice cream. I now have bread in restaurants and maybe once or twice a month in my own house. I think we all went into this new journey to get healthy, be thinner and move our bodies that were just sitting around. No one forced us but we need to be smarter with choices. Like CG always says, Listen to your doctor!! Listen to your dietitian and finally listen to your body. Have a great week. October is tomorrow and before you know it Halloween. I only buy candy I hate and I hate more candies than I like. I never had a problem with buying candy. Yes, I hate Snickers!! Arlene

SO Here is my motivation list. Things I will do when I get to my goal weight. Skiing with no boot extenders Ride a rollercoaster comfortably Tan out by the pool Learn to salsa dance Go to an actual zumba class Experiement with different sex positions Go hiking and not feel like dying Not be the biggest person in the room Fit back into my little black dress Looking awesome on the back of a bike Go to the gym and not feel self consious Buy clothes that arent in the plus size Get lingerie See my ex when I'm 100pds lighter Walk up my steps without getting winded

Seriously??? Did that happen to ME?? Three co-workers called me skinny yesterday. I have NEVER, and I mean NEVER, EVER, EVER been called skinny in my entire life. I am still trying to process the new me. It has taken some adjustments, especially trying to shop for clothes. I don't know what size to buy anymore---I find myself gravitating naturally toward the plus sizes. I still feel like and see myself as the fat girl, and it shocks the heck out of me to see a picture of myself. This is so bizarre, but totally bizarre in a wonderful, surreal way. I decided to have the sleeve for better health, and before the surgery, being thinner was not the biggest motivation for me. I have never been thin, and I had no plans or big ideas about what I would look like after losing weight; I just wanted to be healthy. I thought I was so prepared emotionally and mentally, but I just can't comprehend this new person I see in the mirror. I am very grateful that the weight is coming off, and having met my goal of being healthy has been great. But, I don't know how to deal with all of the attention I am getting. Part of me, of course, likes to hear the compliments. But, a great part of me is kind of embarrassed, shy, and feeling a bit overwhelmed with the questions: how are you doing this, give me some pointers, show me what you are doing, etc. Until I saw a recent picture of myself and compared it to my before picture, I just didn't realize the change in my body---I look in the mirror every day, so I don't see the changes as much. I have not shared how I am losing weight with a lot of people, so the questions of how I am losing weight is a bit difficult for me to answer. My standard answer on how I am losing weight is HARD WORK! I sometimes feel deceitful when people ask me how I am losing weight, but hard work it is!! I tell them I am on a high protein, low carb diet, and that I exercise at least 4 times a week. And that is the absolute truth! Does anyone else feel bad for not sharing the whole story when people ask you how you are losing weight?

I have heard the same harsh comments as many people have...just cut back, exercise, diet, drink more water, eat more veggies...you name it, and I have probably heard it. I didn't choose to be overweight, it just seemed to creep up on me slowly and before I knew it, I weighed 300 pounds...from having kids, from not being active, from being a good cook, from marrying into an Italian family. I had WLS after my husband said to me that he was concerned about me and my health, and that he wanted me to be around so we could enjoy retirement together. He didn't want me to sleep all day and not be able to go for a walk, and mostly he could see how I was depressed from my weight. He is my biggest supporter, and he didn't care how much it would cost, just "get it done". So, after years of yoyo dieting, trying every fad diet in the land, I was banded and I have to say it is the best money I have ever spent. I do not regret it for one moment because you see, I am a food-aholic...just like an alcoholic, but with food. I was not able to help myself. Now, I have learned healthy eating habits and choose the foods that appeal to me. I no longer crave the chips, chocolates, ice cream, cake, cookies, popcorn that used to rule my life. Now when I get a hankering for something to eat, my thoughts turn to protein, veggies and fruit. But I know this would not have been possible without my band. My band is a reminder to me each and every day of the new me, and I am going to be on this wonderful journey forever. So, when someone gives you a bunch of grief because you have decided or did have WLS, tell them to walk a mile in your shoes, and tell them to be sure to climb those stairs 2 or 3 times a day, and then tell them it is not a crime to want something better for yourself, to want to be around to see your kids or grand kids get married, to see them graduate. My bi-weekly trips to my dr's office are fantastic. I get excited to get on the scale and see that it has moved backwards, closer to a new me. The dr is proud of me too, and I can tell you, that goes a long way in my book of "good feelings". So if you are contemplating WLS, I say B-R-A-V-O. YOU GO AN 'GET'ER DONE'. You will probably find the road a little bumpy at times, but so worth it. I LOVE MY BAND Zil Banded 8/19/2011, starting weight, 299, weight loss to date 76#s, and another 65 to go...hoping to make it by 11/1/2012. Oh, BTW, it did take me 5 months to get into the green zone and that was with fills every 2 weeks.

I've found that in the 4 weeks since I've had my surgery I am obsessing about how much weight I'm losing. I'm losing a decent amount, but I want to make this work so badly I've forgotten about patience. Patience hasn't always been a virtue of mine, but I'm thinking this is something I'm going to have to work on. I didn't get fat overnight. It happened over years and I'm expecting to lose so much in months. Don't ge me wrong, I still think its important for me to have goals. I just need to be realistic. This is not a sprint to the finish line its a life changing marathon, with hills, valleys, and bumps. I'm really appreciating the people on here who are so open and caring to give me good advice and help keep my mind straight and help me realize what's happening with my mind and body is normal. Today, I am going to stop worrying. I will follow my Doctor's instructions and walk through my journey, so hopefully one day soon I will be able to help others.

Wow! Today has been a 180 from yesterday in terms of how I'm feeling about myself and the surgery. I am not down in the dumps. I kept super busy most of the day, but when I was able to wind down, I had some time to think about some of the things I was told in my pre-op class... My dietician told me that she likes to listen to audio books while she walks on her treadmill or exercises. There are a few reasons why this is an awesome idea... 1. Watching TV while exercising you have 1/3 commercials... most commercials are of fatty, delicious food. Seriously, NOT what I need when I'm trying to lose weight and break bad habits! 2. Music is a good option too, but after a week, you've heard them all and it doesn't really appeal anymore. 3. If you are like me and enjoy books but don't have time to sit down and read in the peace and quiet... kill 2 birds with 1 stone! Knock out my exercising and feed my brain all at the same time! I thought, well, I will give that a try. Looking into it, I found that it is really expensive to download books... goodness gracious! After some researching and confusion of what their "deal" was, I found that I like audible.com best. I got the app for my iPod touch and download a few books. I found some good inspirational books by Joel Osteen... How? I'm not sure... I have NO idea how his book got brought up. Thank goodness it did though! It was just what I needed and I didn't even know it. So, I downloaded my book, ran downstairs, and fired up the treadmill... for the second time since surgery. (I've been walking, but more aimlessly around inside buildings and even my house.) I haven't had the motivation to really get into exercising yet for some reason. I got excited about the audio book thing though and was eager to get going. I hopped on the treadmill and next time I looked down I had been on for 10 minutes... like nothing. I only ended up walking 15 though. I didn't want to overdo myself because I'm still pretty sore at times. This book (so far.. I had to stop myself after the intro, before he got into "Day 1") talked about how your words affect your future. If you wake up tired and say, "Oh, man. I'm just so tired. It's going to be a horrible day." It will be. I've been told that a million times... blah blah blah. I know. I needed a reminder though. If you're feeling tired, say outloud, "I feel great. I'm healthy. Today is going to be a great day!" It will be a good day! Also, it talked about how no one believes the things you say about yourself quite as much as you do. If you tell yourself enough that you are beautiful, happy, blessed, radiant, soon enough you will feel like you are... and you will be! I needed these words (although I paraphrased A LOT from what the book says) I hope that they help someone else through their time of difficulty too. Today truly has been a great day for me. I hope it has been for you too!! I HIGHLY recommend considering listening to an audiobook while exercising. There are soooo many out there that there will be something for everyone to download.

Holy Toledo! Of course I couldn't be simple- I had to reach my goal weight in dramatic fashion! God's divine sense of humor has struck again... So I had a first/blind date with a gentlemen officer who ended up getting sick on Sunday and cancelled his date but asked to reschedule. Well, last night he texted me and told me his work (he's in a higher level officer training course at the moment at our local military installation) will be at my University on Thursday- for the lecture I'm co-hosting for a General who's speaking. This would be the same lecture I've been nervously working so hard for because my ex boyfriend was going to be attending and I wanted to take the opportunity to show off my new me. Apparently God's seeing fit to screw with my head and put them both in that lecture hall at the same time..... Spanx and hot bodycon business dress- don't fail me now! Thursday is D- Day for me as far as I'm concerend. Then I woke up... I woke up and got on the scale and I made my goal weight this morning... And the guest lecture I'm hosting that the ex and current male interests are both attending is in 2 days.... Well played God. Well played. I <3 my sleeve!!!!! Height: 5'9 Highest (Surgery) Weight: 216 1st Primary Goal Weight: 169 (achieved 11/27) 2nd Optimal Goal Weight: 145 Sleeve Journey: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 8/17/12- PreOp/Surgery Day w/Pics Posted in Blog Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2) Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2) Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8) Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-22.5 lbs) Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9) Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5) Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1) Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-11.6 lbs) Week 9 (10/19): 181.4 (-.5) Week 10 (10/26): 177.9 (-3.5) Week 11 (11/02): 176.8 (-1.1) Week 12 (11/09): 174.7 (-2.1) Week 13 (11/16): 173.3 (-1.4) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 11/17/12- 3 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-8.6 lbs) Week 14 (11/23): 173.1 (-.2) ***1st Goal Weight Achieved Week (11/27): 169.5 lbs***

Had a good week not just in terms of weight loss but more so emotionally. I am just really found myself admiring myself, loving the newfound me this week. I even had to check myself not to be looking in the mirror so much. I bought a dress pre-surgery that I loved but it was also only $8 so that made me love it even more...Well, it was an an "XL" and even still was pretty tight but I put on my spanx and made it work. (I had to walk with my legs squeezed because you could hear the spanx rubbing together. I had the leg kind on). Well, I wore this same dress on Wednesday and oh what a differnece. I wish I would have taken a picture now. But the dress was so much longer, dragging the floor even since it had less to go around. Those spanx that used to hold everything tight were actually too lose and so I put on another pair that I had outgrown...First no swishing as my legs dont overlap as they did...Still touch but no overlap...My stomach look as if it is was not there and the dress just flowed from me...Not snug in the least bit. In fact, I think I had my last wear in it because it will be too big by the time I put it back in the wear cycle. My sleeve buddy posted in our FB support forum, how so many of her milestones are marked by her remembrance of her weight and as I got to thinking about I have several of those moments too...Weight really had taken over my own being...Funny thing is I am still marking milestones but its not marking them with a new look as my weight goes down. I go home to visit my family back in Arkansas and it will be the first any have seen of me since having surgery. I am both nervous and excited about their reaction. I think a lil more nervous then excited. I is my motivation to really work hard and maintain a straight line with diet compliance so that I can see 180lbs by Nov 19th. Pretty lofty goal but I know really think I can make it happen with "Two-A-Day" workouts...I love the Insanity workout which I do in the morning and then in the evening 4 days a week I will get my run on. And speaking of running, I committed myself to a running a half marathon on June 1, 2013. Keeping a goal such as this in front of me keeps me motivated to stay on the grind, particularly during the winter months when it becomes easy to get lazy with a warm blanket and hot chocolate. HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8) LW 196.2 CW 193.6 [Total Weight Loss 38.4] GW 155