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My mom finally noticed the weightloss and said she's proud of me 🥹🥹

I'm finally back on to cycling after my operation! I'm so excited! I can also go faster for longer since I'm almost 6olbs down!

The surgery went great, I woke up feeling sick to my stomach and hurting, They gave me an anti-nausea shot with Toradol. I slept from the time they woke me up, around 1pm until about 4pm. I was finally able to hold my eyes open for more than a few seconds, I got up and used the restroom, and then they took me for a walk around the nurse station, which went well. Then the nurse sat me up for a little bit in the recliner in the room. Then I started dosing again for another two hours until my sister came back to sit overnight with me. Then they got me up to use the restroom again, we did another walk around the nurse's station, and then they put me back in bed. I worked on sipping as much water as I could. The next morning the PA & Surgeon came in early to check on me, and because I did really well they discharged me very early. So here I am sitting at home in bed, trying to get comfy. Prior to the surgery, before they put me out, they gave me a nerve block on both sides of my spine. which was a whole new experience in itself, hurt like hell. But I was literally out before I knew it, at first the only way I could describe the discomfort I felt was like I had done a billion tummy crunches and overworked myself. But now that the nerve block is wearing off, its more uncomfortable, and the gas situation is next level. LOL 🤣 But not to worry, I'm feeling a little better every day, just have to watch what I do with my mid section. It burns and hurts if I move the wrong direction, especially trying to get comfy on my bed. And getting my 10-year-old stubborn furbaby to understand he can't be in my arms right now is been hard. He won't leave my side, which is so sweet. Big thank you to everyone for the encouragement and support sent my way, it means a great deal and helped with my anxiety over the surgery. 💗💜

Thank you for reading 🖤 I like to think I'm an open book, especially when it comes to my more difficult experiences, purely because I believe having an open and non-judgemental platform to talk about things that may otherwise be hidden away, is really important! That's actually a really good idea - I think I'm going to do that!

So prior to surgery I tasked myself with writing a letter to the "future me". I wrote this letter and then sealed it up so that I could open it 6 months post-op and reflect. I thought I'd share it with you all to give some inspo, and just because I value being open about my journey with you all ❤️ I wrote this letter on the 20th December 2023, with my surgery scheduled for the 14th May 2024. Some of this letter may be triggering for others (mentions of sexual assault/abuse), so please don't read on if you aren't able to. I also highly recommend for people to do the same pre-surgery. Reading this letter has been really cathartic for me, especially at a time where my weight loss is slowing down a little. So, here it is, my letter to myself: To me, I hope that you have found your own form of genuine happiness. To try and picture how life is for you now is impossible. I'm currently at work, my back is in pain, I am overly conscious of my body - my stomach and chin in particular. I hope that you aren't worrying about any of those things anymore. Remember feeling so painfully aware of your body, about how nothing quite fits you anymore? I pray life is better for you now. I want you to have a whole new quality of life. No more holding yourself back. Say yes to things that scare you. Go on a paddle boat. Go to go-ape. Do something terrifying. I hope that your mental wounds are beginning to heal. All those times you were cheated on and mentally & physically abused by your ex because of your weight. You didn't deserve that. Not one bit. Your worth is not, and never was, defined by how much you weigh. Please don't get stuck on the numbers. I know this has probably been one of the hardest experiences for you, and I know you have probably had to re-learn everything, but you deserve this. You are so, so deserving. Reflect back on the past: Nan calling you 'podgy' in a top you was excited to wear when you was 13, but you never wore it again after that. Growing fast and being bigger than most people in school. Always yo-yoing from diet to diet. None of it worked. Punishing yourself didn't work. But now look at what you have achieved. YOU did this. No one else. Be proud. I hope, more than anything else, that you have finally found out who you are. That girl inside, behind all the weight, waiting for freedom. I can't wait to meet her x

how are you feeling?

The belt that I wear to work (size L) now fits around my hips on the biggest setting - it previously only JUST made it around my waist on the same setting!

In the two weeks before you’ll likely be put on a pre surgical diet. It may be all shakes, or a combination of shakes and a high protein diet or another plan so you can’t really prepare for that. However, nothing stopping you starting to introduce some new habits now. Start tracking your food or begin introducing appropriate portions for meals. Make sure you’re getting in 2L/64ozs of water a day. Reduce your intake of carbonated drinks. Maybe drop a snack or two. Or whatever you could start to do to modify your current eating style and food choices. If you’re not very active, try adding some additional moment or try some classes to see what you may enjoy. Post surgery, you’ll again be on a restricted eating plan which your surgeon will give you. There will be similarities with this but also some differences with what others are given. Be warned though, your taste buds and sometimes sense of smell can go haywire and there may be foods you used to enjoy (flavour or texture) that taste disgusting or smell awful. This does pass in a couple of months but don’t buy certain flavours or foods you like that are allowed on your plan in bulk - you may end up being unable to eat them. Get some small cutlery like baby spoons and forks or some cocktail/buffet forks, small plates & bowls. Your portions will be tiny & you’ll only be allowed small bites so the smaller bowls and cutlery make it easier to adjust. Buy some small containers for freezing leftovers or the small snack size zip lock bags; left overs will be common and freezing appropriate sized portions will come a new habit. If you don’t have any: a set of scales that goes down to small increments (ounces or grams), a blender, stick processor, or similar, measuring spoons and cups. Get some over the counter stool softeners, anti nausea meds & pain meds (can’t take NSAIDs), and a heat pad/wheat pack. I’m sure others will add lots of others. Congratulations on having your surgical date. All the best.

We always called it egg in a hole. Unimaginative I know. Toad in the hole is something different @ms.sss. It’s sausages, usually beef but can be pork, baked in yorkshire pudding batter. Served with onion gravy, mashed potatoes and whatever other vegetables.

Yes! I accidentally dropped my phone into the water when I was getting a pedicure because I set my phone down in my "lap"...and the lap was a gap 😂