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I have never met a Canadian that I didn't like! I'm sure there are jerks there somewhere, but every Canadian I have met has been sunshine and rainbows! Now about this male gaze... I'm only 30 lbs down so far, but I already feel better about how my clothes fit and carry myself in a more confident manner. My husband said I looked "svelte" in my workout clothes the other day. Hahahaha I can't wait to lose more but even now I'm happier with myself and it shows in my relationship and in the bedroom. I don't think I have seen much change yet in the world outside of my house. It a double edge sword; its nice to be noticed and appreciated, but it sucks to feel unsafe or leered at.

I second that. I am not the same person I was the past 5 years (being overweight and unhappy). I am a very different person and I feel I am back to being me, I really feel I regained my life - and personality - back. Let me very honest and transparent here. Growing up and through my adolescence (to this day, I am still in my early thirties), I have come to terms that men just stare, my sister regularly says "I don't want to be out in public with you because you just attract too much attention" I'm used to being hit on. I have trained my mind to ignore it, I don't think anything of it don't pay attention to it. During the 5 years of being overweight then obese, I was more conscious to notice if I get the stares as I used to? And I did, but they weren't as intense as they are now (mind you they are the worst I've experienced although I was athletic with a BMI of 22 my entire life) but I would say this has to do with the way I carry myself and not entirely the looks. I carry myself with confidence, I don't try to hide myself in baggy clothes, I laugh and smile more and I'm just friendlier and happier, so it's probably my sunshine personality LOL. jokes aside, it is a combo of being fit and in shape and a lovelier personality if I say so myself. According to my husband, he never even noticed I was overweight, he keeps telling me how shocked he was when I told him I've decided to get the sleeve, and he tried talking me out of it BUT, I asked him the other day if he preferred me now or a year ago and his default answer "both" but when I pressed him he admitted and said "Now, you look like a sports illustrated model" HAHA. But again, I come onto him more, I wear sexy lingerie, I tease him, I sit on his lap and I keep the lights on during intimate times, I am more fun and adventurous in bed. Mind you these are things I've not done for 5+ years or probably ever, I feel sexy and I act sexy with him and I can say that after 11 years of marriage, this is the best phase, I feel like we're teenagers again LMAO. As for other men's stares, I don't think anything of that, I've got the best one by my side!

This is a topic I'm a bit concerned with, honestly. I was heavy all of my life, and normally was the one to initiate contact with men. Men giving me 'the gaze' made me feel uncomfortable, and assertive men who talked about my body made me want to run and hide. I didn't like my body and didn't know what they thought they saw, but it usually made my skin crawl. Now, I'm starting to dress better with more form fitting clothing. I'm excited about looking better, but I don't really WANT attention at the same time. It's a confusing time. Meanwhile, my fella - who was one of those 'chubby chasers' has actually been gaining weight due to temporary inactivity. I've come to realize that he used to be chubby and was picked on for it, relentlessly, as an adolescent. I can definitely see the self consciousness growing in HIM now and it's made it challenging for me to find a balance and feel 'valid' and attractive since his decline in sexuality is matching my increase in confidence. I know that this, too, shall pass, and he'll get on track again - he's already been cutting back on carbs and joining me for my long walks and such, but it's a weird transition. I was never one who was very comfortable receiving compliments or attention I didn't initiate, so I'm kind of dreading the 'male gaze'.

That's really great! I feel like I was in a funk last week and really struggled with motivation to do anything, so I pretty much just worked and blobbed at home. Today is a new week though and maybe I can steal some of your motivation to get up and move my body!

some people like other people (and some do not). and some people ARE LIKED by other people (and some are not). different strokes. so yeah. but to what sillyKitty is saying, as a woman, its kinda a little sad/unfortunate to hear another woman say "most" women suck. same as if i hear someone saying most (but not) all Canadians suck, or that most (but not all) brown skinned people suck, or that most but not all **___________** suck (fill in the blank with whatever group one would generalize one). i'm sorry you have only/mostly had bad experiences with women. hopefully you meet some good women out there to change your opinion to a more tolerant one. for instance me: i'm DELIGHTFUL. lololololzzzzz.

This is a public forum, not an echo chamber. I expressed my opinion. You and your two friends disagree. No one attacked anyone 🙄 I still believe "if everywhere you go smells like sh*t, maybe it's time to check your shoes"

I find myself more attractive after weight loss, so why wouldn't men? If some didn't want to be my friend because of my weight, yeah, that's a problem. But didn't want to date me because of my weight, I get it. Beyond physical appearance, when I was overweight there were things I couldn't or didn't want to do, hike, skydive, beach vacations etc.. People want partners that they not only find attractive, but that enjoys many of the same activities they do. I met my bf after WLS surgery. We have had many conversations about my weight, WLS etc.. He would not have dated me at my pre WLS weight. And that's ok, because I wouldn't have dated him if he was 100 lbs heavier than he is now either. As far as the "male gaze", I am completely unbothered by it. Having men do the double, triple take is sometimes amusing, but mostly I'm indifferent to it. I'm out there in public, let them look.

Oh yay! I used to use it but good to know if or when I go back to it! When is it ok to go back to your movements? I finally made it to the gym today and did a body compat class .. I'll attach my chart! It was a full body workout like a mix if martial arts.. excited for my weight in

Welp I work from home and have not set foot in my local office in forever! We'll today it rains and the power decides to shut off! It always rains here not sure what is new. I was like oooh no I have no cloths, I have not shopped for work cloths yet. Then I thought look again. Wow I am able to fit back in my work shirts from like 5 plus years ago. They still look like new I grew rather large rather quickly and never got to put them to good use. Major WIN 🏆

I love thrifting. I never found clothes either. I’m starting to find them already, though. I am buying them in sizes smaller than I am now. Giving me something to look forward to. Thrift stores are an excellent place to find exercise clothes. Many of them are practically brand new and then people that do use them drop sizes like we are so they are always being donated. I need to go and start looking for something for holiday lunches. I have a few craft groups so I will have at least three lunches in addition to the family stuff. And for that I guess I need clothes too. I have been living in my exercise clothes for the past two months because they fit and they are so comfy. I guess now my incisions are healed I should find some pants that fit. 🤣