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at my two month mark it was christmas-ish and i along with the gazillion family parties, i had a wedding-like 50th bday party as well (not mine lol). eating was not an issue, i nibbled stuff here and there. i did bring a protein shake (or two) to every single event, just in case, but didn't need it at any of them. i could easily find something among the spread to eat. as for something to wear, i would probably nix the idea of buying a dress that fits u now. i can almost guarantee that it WILL NOT fit u in May. not sure if u are a hoarder of just-in-case "skinny clothes" like i was, but i was able to dip into this stash for a few months during weight loss phase for my dress-up needs. if anything, maybe wait until at least April to buy a new outfit?

i felt for a chicken salad sandwich, but we had no bread, nor lettuce, boo. so chicken salad, a piece of bacon, and....rice! lol. 321 cals for the whole bowl, ate 1/2 for now. will eat the rest later.

Hello All- i posted for the first time just about three years ago with some anxieties as a spouse with my wife prepping to undergo the gastric sleeve. I originally noted being concerned about our lifestyle changes, relationship impacts (I had heard all the horror stories) and most of all health concerns into the future. The community was incredibly supportive and I had learned tips and useful knowledge that helped me coach and support my wife through it. I am happy to say we are better than we ever have been and her self confidence is through the roof. However the MAIN reason the surgery ever was even considered was to get her diabetes that started while she was pregnant with our first child and got very concerning bad with our fourth has still stuck around and caused issues….. First- this is Life changing not just for the partner getting the surgery, but the spouse too. We used to be foodies and that all had to go out the door. Same with alcohol. Two bites and you are full, a pint and you are drunk. So activities, dates, etc. and new hobbies should all be prepared for well in advance. Luckily we are both athletes and coaches and this allowed to have an outlet that wasn’t our prior foodies and beer/ brewery culture pastime. Two- Relationship, anyone who tells you that this leads to automatic divorce/ break up is paranoid or lying. Out of her support group offered by our health network, I think only 1 or 2 of about fifteen women ended up separating and that was from the other spouse cheating. I have to say that in many ways, after four kids and all our activities, youth sports and coaching- it created a second honeymoon period for us and really strengthened our romance and relationship because we both focused on our health again jointly and the magnetism increased dramatically. Third- It might not fix the problem…. We did not jointly go into the surgery for cosmetic or weight loss reasons. It was the diabetes and the doctors said it was a solid shot to cure or mitigate the disease. It was for a while, but it keeps back up. despite healthy eating, despite exercise and coaching, despite the surgery- medications came back into the picture and so did the celebrity weight loss drug (which is really supposed to be for diabetes…) This has been keeping everything under control but is a case of the cure being as bad as the sickness. The side effects are brutal and definitely have a quality of life impact, but we both want to live to see grandkids someday….. Fourth- dysmorphia is VERY really. We are both naturally larger people. I was a lineman in high school and college and she was a softball catcher in high school and college and ended up also playing women’s rugby there as well. Even with the surgery she went from an XL to L but she got her college/ high school figure back and as such her confidence went through the roof and started dressing like she hadn’t in years. With the medication though??? Her figure, face shape, everything changed. Down to a Small or Medium. For almost a year and a half she hasn’t recognized herself in the mirror. It’s a double wham with the surgery and the medication. Between her best friends and myself (we have all been in the same friend/ team group since college) the support was to have fun with it and go with the flow. Instead of worrying about it (the dysmorphia) it was embrace the change. All new clothes she could never wear before, she’s been a redhead now and then blonde and still is. Cut her hair shorter, started wearing makeup (never really did)- all just to try and put a positive spin on it. I’ve been the spoiled recipient of having a brand new girl (don’t think I haven’t romanced and spoiled the you-know-what out of her), but at the end of the day it’s been mitigation of all the life changes. The last part has been the most detailed because it’s the most recent and to me has been the most impactful- NOT having the surgery do its intended purpose and the dysmorphia we’re both very difficult given the efforts and life changes made. We’ve done everything we can to make lemonade out of those lemons though. We had an anniversary vacation better than our honeymoon this past summer (she has always been way out of my league and these days it’s very much over the top- I feel incredibly spoiled) and we have made time to ride our bikes together with our oldest babysitting the kids and we come to each others games when we coach. I would tell any spouse; husband or wife of someone who is going to have the surgery and then or also do all the meds: 1. Support. It’s a huge deal and you need to show up. 2. Don’t get insecure about your relationship because of the surgery. If you are worried it means you might not have a great relationship to start with…. 3. You will need to change your life too. Because of my size and my weight lifting, I need a lot of protein and calories. I will never look like a Hollywood star (like she now does) and always an NFL lineman- BUT- if I bring a cannoli, pie or a full growler into the house in addition to steak/ salmon, etc it’s teasing and not fair. You will need to learn self control to support your spouse… 4. Inspire and come up with ideas for positive re-enforcement. If the dysmorphia or depression sets in, you need to find fun things to do, supportive steps to take and positive angles to keep things going. 5. If you are doing all this as a spouse, what about YOU??? Are you going to die a martyr? Take care of YOURSELF too. I go lifting 3 times a week, go fishing in season. And for my 40th birthday when she asked what I wanted?? I got us a long weekend on the Cape, bought her some dresses I wanted to see her in and sent her to get her hair, nails, toes, eyelashes, etc.. done. Said I wanted a long weekend with my movie star wife. It was a great time, kid free and continued to strengthen our marriage. Anyways- why am I writing this? Posterity? Self reflection? Not really…. I just want to give Spouses a roadmap. It’s a huge change and you need to navigate the waters well. If you do you will benefit as much as your loved one. Good luck.

My operation date is February 1, I'm very excited. It took me so long to make the decision and then again it took so long to get the date. My pre-op-diet seems to be the same as NickelChips.

I am sure the good people on here will help you out with finding a group. Lots of us have used this forum to chat and find advice. Its a wonderful group, we have all be through it and between us have had every problem going related to the surgery and recovery.

You sound as if you have a great deal going on in your life. You need to take a moment out of your busy life to just breathe. Three months is still a long time to decide which way you want to go, either with surgery or not. You can cancel right up to the minute you walk into the hospital. A few have. This may not be your time. So lets take the things that you are most worried about, Your hair. You will not go bald. You probably will loose some of your thickness. You are young, you have masses of hair. When you are as old as I am you would have already have lost lots of hair due to menopause, so I started off with a deficit. It did get a little scary and I needed to get my hair cut really short but I do love the freedom that it gives me. I felt it was worth it. This surgery was my last chance at a normal life. You will not loose too much weight, you will stop a right place for you. You need to up your calories until you get to a balance. I am ok on 1500 calories a day. I have a slow life, I dont work anymore. I go out with friends, I eat and drink as before. The only thing I do not do is overeat. I don't miss doing that, my friends might do. Especially if they liked to overeat with me. How do you see yourself ? Not how others see you. They may want a fat friend to bolster their own negative ego's. Do you put weight on every year and keep it on ? We all did. We did diets after diets and put it all back on again with added weight. Lots of us ended up with weight related illnesses like diabetes and blood pressure. If you think you can loose weight yourself and keep it off then you need to try. Give yourself 6 to 12 months to do it. Bariatric surgery is not an easy option but if you stick with it, it is a solution. If you do not follow the guide lines then like a diet, it will fail. You should go back and chat with your surgeon. You need to be totally happy with your decision. Give yourself the time you need.

Surprisingly, my surgeon does not require a pre-op diet! Only restriction is we can't weigh more on surgery day as we did on initial weigh in.

Happy for this info that was shared

i always feel a little anti-climactic after the holidays. so much go-go-go for weeks to basically flat-lining on the couch in a blink. be nice to urslef, and try not to succumb to the pressure to be "on" nor the guilt of being not. ❤️

There's not a lot of information in your post. - what surgery? - how much weight loss? - any major events related to health in your life? - what was your typical diet while losing/maintaining weight? - what's your typical diet now?