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I had bypass on wednesday, home today. The pain has lessened significantly , I'm able to drink liquids the way I need to, and able to eat. Lots of walking, and slowly waking up from the anesthesia. Del75 I felt the same way, I had lost 25 pounds in the few months prior and thought maybe I just keep doing that but I'm glad I did it. No regrets.

Hello All- i posted for the first time just about three years ago with some anxieties as a spouse with my wife prepping to undergo the gastric sleeve. I originally noted being concerned about our lifestyle changes, relationship impacts (I had heard all the horror stories) and most of all health concerns into the future. The community was incredibly supportive and I had learned tips and useful knowledge that helped me coach and support my wife through it. I am happy to say we are better than we ever have been and her self confidence is through the roof. However the MAIN reason the surgery ever was even considered was to get her diabetes that started while she was pregnant with our first child and got very concerning bad with our fourth has still stuck around and caused issues….. First- this is Life changing not just for the partner getting the surgery, but the spouse too. We used to be foodies and that all had to go out the door. Same with alcohol. Two bites and you are full, a pint and you are drunk. So activities, dates, etc. and new hobbies should all be prepared for well in advance. Luckily we are both athletes and coaches and this allowed to have an outlet that wasn’t our prior foodies and beer/ brewery culture pastime. Two- Relationship, anyone who tells you that this leads to automatic divorce/ break up is paranoid or lying. Out of her support group offered by our health network, I think only 1 or 2 of about fifteen women ended up separating and that was from the other spouse cheating. I have to say that in many ways, after four kids and all our activities, youth sports and coaching- it created a second honeymoon period for us and really strengthened our romance and relationship because we both focused on our health again jointly and the magnetism increased dramatically. Third- It might not fix the problem…. We did not jointly go into the surgery for cosmetic or weight loss reasons. It was the diabetes and the doctors said it was a solid shot to cure or mitigate the disease. It was for a while, but it keeps back up. despite healthy eating, despite exercise and coaching, despite the surgery- medications came back into the picture and so did the celebrity weight loss drug (which is really supposed to be for diabetes…) This has been keeping everything under control but is a case of the cure being as bad as the sickness. The side effects are brutal and definitely have a quality of life impact, but we both want to live to see grandkids someday….. Fourth- dysmorphia is VERY really. We are both naturally larger people. I was a lineman in high school and college and she was a softball catcher in high school and college and ended up also playing women’s rugby there as well. Even with the surgery she went from an XL to L but she got her college/ high school figure back and as such her confidence went through the roof and started dressing like she hadn’t in years. With the medication though??? Her figure, face shape, everything changed. Down to a Small or Medium. For almost a year and a half she hasn’t recognized herself in the mirror. It’s a double wham with the surgery and the medication. Between her best friends and myself (we have all been in the same friend/ team group since college) the support was to have fun with it and go with the flow. Instead of worrying about it (the dysmorphia) it was embrace the change. All new clothes she could never wear before, she’s been a redhead now and then blonde and still is. Cut her hair shorter, started wearing makeup (never really did)- all just to try and put a positive spin on it. I’ve been the spoiled recipient of having a brand new girl (don’t think I haven’t romanced and spoiled the you-know-what out of her), but at the end of the day it’s been mitigation of all the life changes. The last part has been the most detailed because it’s the most recent and to me has been the most impactful- NOT having the surgery do its intended purpose and the dysmorphia we’re both very difficult given the efforts and life changes made. We’ve done everything we can to make lemonade out of those lemons though. We had an anniversary vacation better than our honeymoon this past summer (she has always been way out of my league and these days it’s very much over the top- I feel incredibly spoiled) and we have made time to ride our bikes together with our oldest babysitting the kids and we come to each others games when we coach. I would tell any spouse; husband or wife of someone who is going to have the surgery and then or also do all the meds: 1. Support. It’s a huge deal and you need to show up. 2. Don’t get insecure about your relationship because of the surgery. If you are worried it means you might not have a great relationship to start with…. 3. You will need to change your life too. Because of my size and my weight lifting, I need a lot of protein and calories. I will never look like a Hollywood star (like she now does) and always an NFL lineman- BUT- if I bring a cannoli, pie or a full growler into the house in addition to steak/ salmon, etc it’s teasing and not fair. You will need to learn self control to support your spouse… 4. Inspire and come up with ideas for positive re-enforcement. If the dysmorphia or depression sets in, you need to find fun things to do, supportive steps to take and positive angles to keep things going. 5. If you are doing all this as a spouse, what about YOU??? Are you going to die a martyr? Take care of YOURSELF too. I go lifting 3 times a week, go fishing in season. And for my 40th birthday when she asked what I wanted?? I got us a long weekend on the Cape, bought her some dresses I wanted to see her in and sent her to get her hair, nails, toes, eyelashes, etc.. done. Said I wanted a long weekend with my movie star wife. It was a great time, kid free and continued to strengthen our marriage. Anyways- why am I writing this? Posterity? Self reflection? Not really…. I just want to give Spouses a roadmap. It’s a huge change and you need to navigate the waters well. If you do you will benefit as much as your loved one. Good luck.

Just came back from a short holiday with my kids and woke up to a nice surprise this morning after retuning to my work place. I had to call my wife right away to share the good news. I'm officially below my goal weight of 70 kg with a "NORMAL" BMI. I was worried I was not going to hit the goal before the second surgery-versary in January 24 but I did it. Playing on all the rides in Legoland theme park and chasing my kids on the beach must have helped me lose the last stubborn 1 kg 🤣. Here is a before and after. Left was a few months before the surgery (pants size 52") and right was two days ago (pants size 29"). Look at those thighs! You never realize how huge you were until you compare the before and after photos.

i always feel a little anti-climactic after the holidays. so much go-go-go for weeks to basically flat-lining on the couch in a blink. be nice to urslef, and try not to succumb to the pressure to be "on" nor the guilt of being not. ❤️

There's not a lot of information in your post. - what surgery? - how much weight loss? - any major events related to health in your life? - what was your typical diet while losing/maintaining weight? - what's your typical diet now?

You know I was coming on to say the same thing. You are further out than me I’m on day 10 but I was hit with the same thing yesterday. I just all of a sudden didn’t want to get out of be in the morning but made myself. Ran a couple of errands and was ok until about 6pm then bamm I was exhausted and couldn’t keep my eyes open. I ended up going to bed. Hence the reason I’m up at 1:30 in the morning reading and typing this lol 😂 from others I have talked to in another support group, they are recently had surgery, they are feeling the same way. Some say it goes away after a couple of months. I sure home so.

I am now 1 month post op. Down 37 lbs. (20 since day of surgery) I feel amazing!! Once I stopped taking my blood thinners, I noticed a lot more energy. My joints don't bother me anymore... my hands, wrists, ankles and feet are no longer swollen. My clothes are becoming loose, and I can't stress enough how happy I am that I finally went for it and had the VSG surgery. I've noticed everyone's doctor has a different approach on the steps following surgery. I was instructed to stay on a liquid diet 3 weeks post op. Now I'm finally allowed to eat, but ONLY 4 things - eggs, string cheese, cottage cheese & avocados for the next 3 weeks. After that he said I can start to introduce meat and other foods into my diet but to ALWAYS prioritize protein over anything. I can barely finish 1 egg without feeling uncomfortable... so it'll be interesting in the coming months. The holidays were hard since my family is full of foodies, so the spreads they created for family gatherings were mouthwatering. I just kept reminding myself that I'm finally headed in the direction, and I don't want to fall back into old habits, so I ask myself, "Do I want this, or do I need this? Will it nourish me or just satisfy a craving?" Changing a relationship with food isn't easy, especially when it's something we HAVE to consume to stay alive and well. To anyone struggling, know you got this!! It might be hard today, but it won't always be that way. You might have a day where you feel you failed yourself. Don't dwell on it just work to be better moving forward. It's a learning curve, you're only human.

I wasn't able to wear a bra for a few months. The ones I wore had to be way too big, because I couldn't handle anything putting pressure on my diaphragm. It still bothers me, but it's getting much better. It's really only been in the last month or so that I've been able to wear bras that fit properly. Oddly enough, in some brands I'm now a C and in others I think I might be a B.

You might be suprised...I always thought I was "big boned" but apparently I was hiding a really small frame underneath all that.

you can probably find before/after pictures (with private parts covered) if you look at the Web sites of plastic surgeons