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The things people feel they have permission to say never ceases to amaze me... Fat phobia is deeply ingrained in our society. It is a sad thing because being fat is still seen as lazy or a morality issue instead of the medical issue it truly is. Just because we need support and sometimes surgery to deal with the weight doesn't mean it isn't a medical issue. People who are thin and have been thin all their lives can be really narrow minded about weight. They think they are incredibly self controlled and virtuous to maintain their weight, instead of realizing that most times it is luck of the draw... No one in my immediate family is as heavy as I am by any means, and in fact my sister barely touches 100 lbs. She's healthy, she's just naturally tiny. She's always been angry at the comments I get because she knows that she eats more food and more crap than I do, especially when we were younger, and yet she struggles to maintain weight and I can't keep it off. I adore her because she celebrates every win I have regarding my weight because she understands how hard it is. People can be biting to naturally tiny people too... My brother on the other hand is supportive but is very fat phobic. He gains 15 lbs and calls himself a fat ass and obsessively works out at the gym until he can get it off. He doesn't understand the struggle at all. I've been very open with everyone I know about the surgery because that's just how I live my life. Most are wildly supportive because they know how hard it has been for me... I'm sure a few silently judge me but they can keep their thoughts to themselves. I don't make space for their bullshit. The best way to deal with that crap is exactly what you did, to tell them to stop and show visible disgust. I react that way to other discrimination too, it is very useful for shutting down a conversation! LOL

We had a company function in December and I was the talk of the event. I didn't go last year so this was the first time a lot of people saw me since the WLS. I could tell that people were talking about me and many of them came over to say hi and ask me how I managed to lose the weight. I guess everyone had "lose weight" in their 2024 resolutions. I gave them the "eating healthy and cycling" answer and even showed them photos of my mountain bike. A lot of them reminded me of how huge I was before and that they were really concerned etc. This was the first time I'm hearing these comments which I assume were always made behind my back. Then they started talking the same about other people who need to lose weight calling them fat and make jokes about them. I was not amused and couldn't help it but telling them to stop. People can be really mean. You don't know what those people are going through and was struggles and problems do they have. Just because you are skinny doesn't make you a better person. Have you had a similar experience?

I'm in the same boat! I've been yo-yoing between the same 3 pounds for a week now. Juuuuuuust enough to not feel its necessary to call the dietician. Ugh. I've lost 33.4 since surgery, 41 total if you include the 8 pounds I lost before surgery. QUESTION: When people ask, do you tell them how much you've lost since surgery or how much you've lost overall? I don't want to give anyone a false impression that I've lost 41 pounds since surgery, but do they really care that I lost 8 pounds before surgery? I need to add more movement to my daily routine. I'm averaging about 2000 steps per day thanks to my need-replacing knees and I tried a chair aerobic workout this week. Clearly it was NOT a beginner video. I was sucking wind at 2 minutes into it - and it was only 10 minutes long! I had to stop at 4 minutes in. It was disheartening, but I won't be deterred. @ChunkCat & @NickelChip - Y'all are my people! Sarcasm is my love language.

I have my evaluation in Jan 9th and hoping to schedule the following week or so!

I am so happy to hear that you have taken control of your life rather than letting others control you. For the sake of you and your daughter, love yourself and put yourself first. You can't be there for your daughter unless you are first there for yourself. The vast majority of WLS patients will tell you that their only regret is that they didn't have the surgery earlier. The members of bariatricpal.com are very supportive and knowledgeable. Reach out....you are among friends and not alone.

I love how supportive you have been of your wife (and am sorry to hear her diabetes remains an issue). I honestly think the relationships that most often fail post-surgery are the ones that are not healthy to begin with. The effects of the weight loss just shine a light on the problems that were already there and being ignored. Society sends the message that being overweight equals being unattractive, that you'll never find a partner unless you're slim, or that you're darn lucky if you do have someone, even if that person treats you poorly, and you'd better put up with it because you won't get anything better. None of that is actually true, of course, but sometimes losing weight is the thing that makes a person realize it and start believing they deserve a happy life. But if a spouse is one of the "good ones," they'll take your advice to heart and end up with an even better relationship. I'm so glad that's what has happened to you and your wife!

Welcome! I am also a newbie and pre-op! I have my surgery booked for May this year and I am so excited! I have probably gained weight, but I really am reluctant to weigh myself as I know it will push me into a negative mindset. At the moment I am feeling very out-of-body knowing that I'll be having surgery, and come late this year I probably won't even recognise myself! How are you finding things at the moment?

Indeed, that's an awful thing to say. I have no idea what reasons some people might have to make such comments.

I can take that kind of talk a big step further; my ex-sister in law has always been a less than kind person and would often speak meanly to my ex about her directly to her face. They were having a conversation about it (I wasn't present) one time and my ex, referring to me said, "Even he notices the way to talk down to me..." She replied, "Well he's just a fat f*cking pig who isn't entitled to an opinion!" Needless to say, we don't exchange Christmas cards though my ex and I are still friends and she's thrilled for me with my progress; she was even the one who picked me up from the hospital after my surgery.

I think it’s possible to reset your sleeve and start to loose again. You have to go back to the regimen post surgery and drink two protein shakes and 1 meal per day. It will come off. I just lost 50 pounds over 6 month period and I had sleeve 10 years ago. If you have more questions let me know