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**Trigger warning: domestic abuse** My name is Georgia, I am 27, and I have been 'bigger' for my entire adult life, and a lot of my childhood too. I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) insulin resistant type, and an Underactive Thyroid, both of which cause me to put on weight quickly, retain weight, and makes losing weight extremely difficult. I can't even remember the countless amounts of fad diets I have been on, or the amount of times I have tried to lose weight, but failed again and again. When I was 18 I was going to the gym 5-6 times a week for over an hour, I was doing HIIT training and Tai Chi, and I was jogging, eating well etc, but I still only managed to lose 2 stone in a year - make it make sense! I didn't know back then that I had underlying conditions that made it hard for me to lose weight, so I internalised a lot of the guilt in not being able to get healthy, and it resulted in me putting on around 6 stone from then until now. I was also a victim of domestic abuse/violence, and a lot of the verbal abuse that I suffered was centred around my weight - constantly being told by my ex-partner that I was fat, he would pinch my thighs, tummy, arms etc, telling me he was seeing how many inches I could lose. It completely broke me, and I started binge eating in secret. He ended up leaving me, telling me that he could no longer be with me due to my weight and how it made me sexually unattractive. I think I am probably just over 20 stone now. My back hurts when I walk, I cannot look in any mirrors without feeling low, I don't feel comfortable going out in public, and I am exhausted all the time. Every time I went to my GP about something, I was always told I needed to lose weight, as if it were a miracle cure and so simple to do just by trying hard enough. It was always blamed on me not putting in enough effort - and those in the UK will know that the NHS isn't a simple thing to navigate and the waiting lists for obesity support are long and often disheartening. Around 2 years ago I was put on a waiting list for weight loss management with the NHS. I was finally accepted in September of 2023. This is a year long commitment to the weight loss management pathway (Tier 3), in which you have to lose 5% of your weight in order to then be put on to another waiting list for a referral for the actual WLS (Tier 4). I have been told that this can take a further 4-6 years. I had a harrowing thought that by the time my WLS actually came around, I'd be well into my 30s, still desperately unhappy with myself, and I would have put on even more weight and probably be immobile. I can no longer do this to myself. I deserve better. I made the decision to look into private weight loss surgery, and I had a free consultation with a recommended surgeon just before Christmas 2023. This was genuinely the first time that a medical professional sat me down and talked to me with some humanity about my weight. He told me that with my conditions (particularly the insulin resistance, and hormonal imbalance), that my metabolic rate needed an entire reset, and this was not possible to do without surgical intervention. He explained that the difficulties I have had in trying to lose weight and being unable to, are not my fault (though of course I accept responsibility that getting here in the first place is my fault), and that surgery is recommended as perhaps the only thing that will enable me to lose the weight. I have never felt so seen, and so heard. I booked in my surgery for May 2024 there and then. So, now I start my journey, and I was looking for support, and here I am. I look forward to posting on here and using this thread to update everyone once I have had my surgery! I am quite an open and honest person, so if anyone wants to reach out to talk, my inbox is open

With about 5 months ahead of you, I suggest making some changes to your eating now to break yourself of bad habits and get into better ones. For example, I started this journey in July and spent the first month cleaning my cupboards. As I used up unhealthy snack foods, sweets, and processed foods, I opted not to buy more. I replaced the crackers and chips I would snack on with dry roasted, lightly salted nuts. I added a lot of veggies and fruit to my diet every day. The next month, I stopped drinking diet soda and artificial sweeteners and cut way back on sugar. The next month, I stopped buying bread and cut way back on dairy. I bought a few bariatric cookbooks and have been finding recipes to try. I might still have bread, diet soda, dairy, or sweets every so often when I'm out, but I don't keep it in the house, which means I'm avoiding it probably 90% of the time. I also started taking my vitamins so I will be in the habit of taking them every day and not forgetting. Oh, and I got into a good routine with water and trying to remember to take a water bottle with me wherever I go. Changes like that will hopefully go a long way in helping you feel mentally prepared for the changes you have to make post-surgery.

Wishing everyone a Happy New Year and a successful journey to better health. On March 1, 2023 before heading to the airport traveling to Piedras Negras, Mexico for my scheduled March 3rd VSG with Dr. Alvarez at Endobariatric; I logged my weight and recorded my measurements. I have kept a running spreadsheet, updating the stats the 1st of every month. Ten months later, I am down 75 pounds and fitting comfortably in a size 6. I am not finished. I had set my goal at 112 which in reality is too thin for me but I wanted to allow for the common 5 to 7 pound regain from the lowest weight, hopefully settling in the 117 to 118 range. I have not had one moment's regret. This is the greatest gift I have given myself and look forward to a healthier and more active 2024.

Happy to have you!!! I have been overweight most of my life, my first diet was at 12 with Weight Watchers because mom kept telling me that If I lost 20lbs I would be so pretty (it was never about health). My dad would tell me that I would never have a boyfriend because I was fat or I would struggle with acceptance because of my weight. I did not have my first relationship until I was 20 because of my self poor image ( I was about 240lbs at this point). Ended up marrying him and he was the most emotionally, verbally, sexually, physically and mentally abusive human being. We moved across the country and that's when the abuse got worse. He would degrade me and tell me no on would want me because I was disgusting and he had to imagine other women while we were intimate. We ended up having a daughter together and she was the best thing that's ever happened to me, but after 10 long years I left with my daughter when she was 18months! When I finally left I was 325lbs. Since then It opened me to a whole new world opened up for me and my daughter. I was able to focus on just us and my health was something that I needed to control- I started working out, eating right and got down to 240lbs met the love of my life and now I have happy weight. He is the best thing that has every happened to my daughter and I. Her bio-dad is not in her life, and we ended up having a son together and I shot back up to 297lbs. After some health scares with my family I decided WLS is the way to go!! I am set to have the Sleeve on the 24th!

One thing about mental hunger or cravings is that they're almost never strong enough for me to actually get into a car and drive to a store to buy something. The first few weeks, I would end up digging until I found something else to eat, but the fewer options you make available, the more you have to admit to yourself that you're just bored or (as is often my case since I work from home) procrastinating. There have been times I would find myself staring into my pantry and I'd have to ask myself what exactly I thought I would find there. It's all canned beans and pasta sauce now. Generally I just ask myself if I want a snack badly enough to drive to the store for it, and the answer is always no. Oh, and I do all my grocery shopping online for pickup now to minimize the chances of throwing impulse buys into my cart.

Thanks for sharing. In a little over a week I'll undergo a 360 with a breast lift and implants and these are very encouraging. I admit to being afraid of the pain too, but everyone has said that it's worth it. I figure if they could do it, so can I.

You have been through so much. Give yourself a break! You are amazing in my eyes! 340 down to 185! Wow! Keep your chin up! Sometimes I think we just get into a funk for really no reason at all! I like you am blessed and still get into a funk sometimes. It doesnt last!

Women tend to do so much stuff for other people...isn't it nice when we can do something great for ourselves ? I hope you have many more years of happiness from your surgery !

Hey Allen, It has been going really well. I am 13 lbs away as of today from my Goal.

Oh yes, the letdown or after effect of all the craziness. All the fear and anxiety about the surgery, the relief of getting back to normal and feeling more normal again, can feel like depression, or just wading through quicksand, teary and easily emotional. You have been on a such a roller coaster for a while now and it's just stopped and returned to the station. You are likely just letting down your guard because everything is okay and now the emotions that stayed under the surface are coming up. Honor your body for the journey it has taken and survived, honor your self for being so resilient and steadfast, pamper yourself and do all the little things that feel cherishing like extra sleep, foot baths with spa treatment, comfy clothes and cheerful movies, music that makes you feel good, books that make you think. Anything that feels good, and just give it time and know that it will ease once you've felt the feelings and let them go. If it lasts more than 2 weeks or gets worse, or severe, please contact your team and let them know, they will likely have resources for you, in fact, no reason to wait if your team has a psychologist you feel comfortable with, go ahead and talk to them. It would likely be very helpful. Take care.