I first looked into weight loss surgery about 15 years before I actually went through with it. Like you, I was scared away by horror stories and all the changes I would have to make and the things I would have to give up. I was also particularly concerned about vomiting because I got the impression that WLS results in vomiting at the drop of a hat. BTW, I am 3 years post-op and I have had exactly one bout of vomiting since my surgery.
I think it's really important to go into the surgery with realistic expectations. If this forum is any indication, way too many people get WLS thinking that it will work like magic, and they're completely unprepared to make the lifestyle changes that are necessary to use the WLS as an effective tool. So I think it's a good thing that you are prepared for the rough parts of the surgery, and it probably won't be as bad as you think. Not gonna lie: the beginning is really hard, but once you get 2+ years out from surgery, you will probably be able to eat fairly normally, and if you play your cards right, you might just find that you no longer want to eat the way you used to. You'll establish a new normal for yourself where you won't constantly feel like you're "giving up" what you really want.
I highly recommend a podcast called We Only Look Thin. It's run by a couple who each lost over 100 pounds. They didn't have surgery, but a lot of their journey resonates so deeply with me. Weight loss (especially when you have a daunting amount to lose) is largely a mental battle, and this podcast absolutely nails it. They are amazing at verbalizing the mental processes that I've gone through, and they are very honest about their struggles. They have some great reality checks about things like fairness, excuses, and mental loopholes, and they have some fantastic advice for navigating the everyday struggles of weight management. Now, I didn't start listening to this until after I had lost 200 pounds, so it might be easier for me to hear and realize, "Yep, past me made a lot of excuses. Past me didn't take responsibility for my eating habits," than it would have been when I was still making excuses and resisting the changes that I was going to have to make. But maybe it would have been easier for me to make those changes if I had heard this podcast before I started than having to figure it out as I went.