I know that sounds like an obvious statement, but despite the preparation, the consultations, dietitian advice as well as discussion with various doctors including the primary surgeon, I realized how much of this is on me and changing my thinking in relation to food. I never thought of myself as food fixated, or dependent. I certainly understand addiction and dependency from other things but food was always not only fuel, but a joy. I have fond memories of meals past; some of the great restaurants of the world, and the funky dives where I got a good meal.
I'm in a new place. I can only eat a few bite before I feel almost full. Cross that line and it gets disgusting fast. So, food, for now, is something I have to be very careful of consuming. Some things are readily digestible, other things, not so much. (I'm 8 weeks out from surgery, a baby but I gotta be responsible).
I realized that part of this is my mental attitude toward what I put into my body. It's like I have a much finer, more delicate filter. I certainly haven't gone to extremes but realize how sensitive my system is and it is my responsibility to follow through from the surgery to small steps in eating and exercise.
Given the hiatal hernia repair, I'm still a time slot away from weight lifting. That's what draws me to the gym- treadmill stuff is a joke- there's a thing called a speed board that is not motorized, and requires your leg power to make it move. It require balance as well. Very expensive to own one, and none of the gyms where I am seem to have one. So I walk in mega stores. But I'm planning ahead-- I'll plug in with a couple different MD types over the next couple weeks- checking bloods- I feel undernourished, but I can't handle the volume of food I would ordinarily consume without thought.
So I have to be mindful- and that is my main point-- you have a duty to yourself to be cautious about what you intake- both in terms of texture and in terms of volume. It seems like a couple of bites of 'regular food" gets me close to full; soft stuff, like soup, is easier. I'm taking all the supplements but am interested to see what the blood work shows.
In the meantime, I'll say that this is a huge upward learning curve that I have taken on, despite the preparation and I think I had good medical and related advice to prepare me. It's just the transition from intellectual to real world.
I'm learning.....