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My theatre youth definitely has helped me in life to mask my introverted social anxiety - not always successfully, but I've muddled by! I've never been good at the whole flirting thing, and am that person who has no idea someone IS flirting 99% of the time. So if anyone has flirted with me now that I'm skinny, I haven't twigged. Mind you, the thin-aesthetic I've soundly embraced can best be described as "androgynous lesbian android", so I think that's successfully staying the hands and minds of straight men. Which I'm definitely more than ok with! (And also likely passed my sell by date. At the very least I need a good sniff first.) To the OP: I definitely think you need to unpack this with a good therapist who can help get to the root of what's going on.

I've been trying to write a response since you posted (last night for me). I suspect you've hit a nerve for a lot of us. You should see all the rejected drafts. I'm a guy but much of what you posted hits home for me. I've never been a social person. Invisible was my default condition and I'm generally good with that. My brother is the opposite, very outgoing, social, can act like he's known a person for years on their first meeting. Gawd I admired his ability and often was jealous of it. My son is very much the same as my brother. There were times and situations when I completely wished I could just do what they do. Over the years though I've become more accustomed to and comfortable with my invisibility. I don't do pictures, most of my outreach is in writing. I believe it's our character not our appearances that are important. As an introvert and perhaps a curmudgeon I don't 'waste' time trying to be social. Being social is work and draining for me. I don't like it, so I avoid it. I get to focus on the stuff that interests me or my spouse who likes me the way I am. I am lucky. I'm generally happy where I am. If you're not then please talk to someone you trust like your spouse, or a therapist, or if you think it's what you want, someone who can help you change. For the record, many of us are anonymous here. It's how we can be honest, vulnerable, and ask for help. Thanks for trusting us. Good luck, Tek

So, today It's been officially one year since my surgery. Yay! I am very happy about how much I lost. I started at 264 and am now at 154 and still want to lose a little bit more so my doctor can refer me to plastics. It's slow going but it's going. I wasn't sure what I was going to write but decided to just go with how I was feeling. One of things I love is I'm much smaller and have more energy but I am also a bit resentful. Bigger people aren't taken seriously sometimes by doctors. I complained of chest pain before the weight loss and was told your blood pressure is too high. Now that I am smaller I was told well that shouldn't be happening and got a CT scan done on Thursday. I had to take prednisone and Benadryl because I'm allergic to the dye contrast. Well they did find two blockages in my arteries one at 70% so tomorrow I have to go in and get a stent put in and I'm a bit pissed off that this could have been taken care of earlier if they had taken my concerns seriously. I haven't done any exercise in a month cause I'm too scared I'll keel over with a heart attack. The moral of this story is to pay attention to your body and if you have concerns speak with your doctor and be insistent if you need them to listen.

Well, the long awaited day is tomorrow! I am having gastric bypass and hernia repair on 3/29. Thanks to this forum and all the wonderful people here, I feel mostly ready and know what to expect. Still scared of course, but ready. I will be back with an update...and probably lots of questions! Lol Take care, all!

I'm close to your timeline with similar surgery. I had RNY with hernia repair on 3/29. I'm 3 1/2 weeks out, down 14 lbs so far. I'm 5'2" and weight day of surgery was 203.8. I feel we are both well within "normal" range for progress. I'm pleased with the results honestly...it would have taken me 4-5 months to lose that much before the surgery. Lol. My energy is also pretty low, I know how you feel. You start wondering if it will ever get better. But based on what I have heard from others, it definitely will. I'm still in pain on the left side and near the belly button. My surgeon ordered a CT scan this week, but it showed nothing significant. I just have to accept the fact that recovery will take longer this time. I've had 2 c-sections and this is most definitely worse. Lol I stared back to work this week. Honestly, I'm grateful to have a desk job and work from home. But the mental fog and fatigue is real. I asked my manager to ease back into projects and such, knowing I won't be mentally sharp for a while. I move to soft foods at the end of this week. I can't wait to feel normal again! I wish you all the best. Please give yourself grace, as others have said. There is no right or wrong way to heal...we just have to do what is necessary for our personal needs. Take care! [emoji8] Sent from my SM-F926U using BariatricPal mobile app

I lost at a rate of about 1kg per week, which is what I used to lose doing a "normal" diet before surgery. Compared to many others, I was a slow loser. You're doing absolutely fine. I've never heard of this 50% by 3 months either, and honestly I think a lot of folks go into WLS with unrealistic expectations of how fast they'll lose (either via misinformation online or by TV shows like My 600lb Life). So relax. Everything is normal. Stay off the scale and distract yourself with other things. Weighing yourself so frequently isn't helpful and when stalls hit (and they will), it's even less helpful.

Congratulations on your success! Medical incompetence when it comes to weight, race, or any of several other factors is horrifying. I'm sure many of us have similar stories. Good luck, Tek

sorry - I misunderstood what you were trying to say in your original post. Yes - you are correct - food will never go through the bottom 3/4 (or whatever) of your stomach again unless the surgery is reversed.

I haven't heard that, but who knows? It might be true. I know bypassers are susceptible to vitamin deficiencies, though, because of the malabsorption. That's why it's critical for us to keep on top of our supplements - the consequences of slacking off are more severe for us than they are for sleevers. EDITED TO ADD: I'm not really sure about fasting in general, though. I know the malabsorption the first few months is super strong - you malasorb calories in addition to nutrients. Unfortunately, the malabsorption of calories seems to go away after a year or two - whereas the malabsorption of nutrients stays. I had a 20 lb regain in year 3 (which is unfortunately very common - usually 10-20 lbs), and I currently struggle to keep my weight where it is, so the part of fasting where you lose weight isn't true - or at least not for me. But maybe he meant for the first year or two? Or was referring specifically to nutrients ? Not sure.

Today is tomorrow. Hope you are doing well! Check in when you can.