This made me think about my own decision not to share my surgery with anyone that didn't have a "need to know". Virtually everyone I work with has never actually seen me in person, only via zoom, since we almost all work remotely. I didn't tell anyone, even my boss that I was having weight loss surgery.
Quarterly, my larger team (50-60 folks) gets together in person now, but I've put off traveling for these meetings for most of the year. I used my significant hearing loss as the main rationale. I do have a significant challenge hearing in crowded rooms due to my hearing loss, so it's absolutely an issue. If I'm honest with myself though, I put off going mostly because I was ashamed of my weight. I also knew that after surgery, I'd be closer to a "normal" weight and while some might notice a difference between "video" me and "in person" me, I figured it won't be nearly as noticeable for most folks. Anyway, mid-December, I'm finally planning to go to the quarterly get together.
Fair or not, I know 2 things are true, and I made the choices I did based on this:
Being obese carries a significant stigma that we are lazy, have no self-control, are morally bankrupt, are unattractive, etc. I've seen and felt this personally and its impact on promotions and work assignments. No one will ever admit to feeling this way or letting it impact business decisions, but it happens consciously or not. (I digress here a bit, but if you doubt this is real, look at the C-suite in any major corporation and one consistent theme is that it's exceptionally rare to see someone that's even overweight, much less obese.)
Many people think that WLS is the easy way out, so don't associate weight lost this way as "redeeming ourselves" for the laziness and lack of self-control. In effect, only if you lose weight "naturally", are you proven "worthy" again.
Frankly it sucks that these attitudes are so prevalent, but they are. I made the choices I did because I don't need anyone at work judging me or my motivations. As someone else said, I did this to save my life. We should be celebrating it. Instead, it's just more stigmatizing.