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I am 39 years old and have been in a relationship with a narcissistic 50 year old who doesn’t work because he chooses to, for 7 years. He does always have dinner ready and the house clean when I get home from work. Our relationship isn’t on the best of terms and when we argue he calls me fat all the time. He feels like he’s right all the time, he puts others down, blames me for everything etc. This year my company switched insurances and now the surgery is covered!!! I’m so excited. But, I have a feeling this relationship will go from bad to worse when i lose the weight. He said he would be supportive but I don’t know. I’m to my wits end almost and thinking of kicking him out of my home that I own. He’s verbally abusive to me and does it in front of my kids, one of which is his. I don’t know if it’s my low self esteem that won’t let me do it or what!! I’m just afraid things will get worse for me after the surgery.

im 4+ years post op. I've been grazing since the beginning and still do. I think it matters more how many total calories you consume than how many times you eat. so long as the higher frequency of eating times does not result in more calories overall (for your given situation), you should find it makes no difference. Good luck! ❤️

@jeannjiebug Thank you. Like you my wife doesn't think I'm that big. I hide my weight well. I think we are similar. I am 5' 71/2" and at 240 lbs. What I wouldn't give to be under 180#. Good for you. I can't remember the last time I was below 200. First consultation with the surgeon is next Monday 2/20. I'm pretty sure it's for me.

Welcome! I suggest that you take her to the doctor with you. Let the doctors stress how dangerous your comorbidities are. Let the surgeon explain to her how the surgery has an excellent chance of reversing all of your health conditions. My husband didn't think I was big enough for surgery - but I was (according to my insurance).

Congratulations!!!

thank you for your response! Yes, I know I need to increase my exercise for sure.

I’m 20 days post op and I was wondering would red diamond unsweetened iced tea be safe to drink I cannot figure out for the life of me if it’s decaf or not so sorry if I sound stupid

if you've been following your clinic's recommendations, then it's likely water retention from the IV fluids. That's basically salt water, and a lot of people retain that. There are some people on here who've even weighed 10 lbs more when they left the hospital than when they arrived! It can take a week or occasionally longer to work its way out of your system. stick to your plan and the weight will come off. Everyone is different due to different factors, many of which you have little to no control over (like age, gender, starting BMI, metabolic level, how much weight you lost prior to surgery, etc). The two things you DO have control over is how closely you stick to your plan and your activity level. If you do well with those, the weight will come off, whether fast or slow. also, the 20 lb loss you said you think you should have lost in the first two weeks - banish that thought. If you started out at 600+ lbs, then yes - maybe - but for us more "normal" WLS patients, losing 20 lbs in two weeks just doesn't happen. Most of us lose somewhere in the 15-25 lb range the first MONTH. Yes of course you will find people who've lost more or less than that the first month, but they're outliers. You're probably doing just fine. Give it more time and remember to stick to your plan! I thought i was a terribly slow loser - and I WAS a bit behind others with similar statistics (starting weight, etc), but I ended up losing over 200 lbs.

Ok, indeed never heard of that one. I sometimes read that when people post before/after pictures that there are comments like "OMG, you're glowing in the after picture!!" but I didn't know it was a specific slang term.

like someone above said, the relationship itself may not get worse (although it COULD), but losing weight tends to give people more confidence and the realization that they have other choices and don't have to put up with the crap any more.