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This made me think about my own decision not to share my surgery with anyone that didn't have a "need to know". Virtually everyone I work with has never actually seen me in person, only via zoom, since we almost all work remotely. I didn't tell anyone, even my boss that I was having weight loss surgery. Quarterly, my larger team (50-60 folks) gets together in person now, but I've put off traveling for these meetings for most of the year. I used my significant hearing loss as the main rationale. I do have a significant challenge hearing in crowded rooms due to my hearing loss, so it's absolutely an issue. If I'm honest with myself though, I put off going mostly because I was ashamed of my weight. I also knew that after surgery, I'd be closer to a "normal" weight and while some might notice a difference between "video" me and "in person" me, I figured it won't be nearly as noticeable for most folks. Anyway, mid-December, I'm finally planning to go to the quarterly get together. Fair or not, I know 2 things are true, and I made the choices I did based on this: Being obese carries a significant stigma that we are lazy, have no self-control, are morally bankrupt, are unattractive, etc. I've seen and felt this personally and its impact on promotions and work assignments. No one will ever admit to feeling this way or letting it impact business decisions, but it happens consciously or not. (I digress here a bit, but if you doubt this is real, look at the C-suite in any major corporation and one consistent theme is that it's exceptionally rare to see someone that's even overweight, much less obese.) Many people think that WLS is the easy way out, so don't associate weight lost this way as "redeeming ourselves" for the laziness and lack of self-control. In effect, only if you lose weight "naturally", are you proven "worthy" again. Frankly it sucks that these attitudes are so prevalent, but they are. I made the choices I did because I don't need anyone at work judging me or my motivations. As someone else said, I did this to save my life. We should be celebrating it. Instead, it's just more stigmatizing.

Lots of people on this forum have had bad results from telling others about this surgery. Before this surgery I didn't want any negative input from people, so I only told my husband, son and BFF. Even now I have only told larger people who have seen the change in me and were genuinely interested in how I managed such a big loss. I am not an open person; the British reserve is a real thing. We don't share our feelings. I would never tell a waitress/ waiter why I wanted different choices, just that I did. If more people were like you then maybe some of the stigma would disappear.

I, for one, don’t believe i feel bad nor harbour any shame about my wls (or any other medical/surgical procedures i have had). I think its just not my bag to share my business to all indiscriminately (i mean, i have even been known not to tell new acquaintances my real name for months lol 😉 ) I have a friend who does keto/low carb. Whenever we go out to a meal together, she has a several minute conversation with the server about her food choices and why, and sometimes shares how much weight she has lost to date (or gained recently by “cheating”). Meanwhile, i just quickly ask to swap out my potatoes or whatever for salad and internally hope (while simultaneously outwardly looking like i’m waiting patiently, ha) for my pal to finish her discussion so we can get our food already!! 😂 But i get it, she is passionate and proud of her lifestyle and progress, and she’s a sharer, so of course she wants to share. And if/when she finds an eager listener, then score! Win-win. At the same time, there are others (like myself) who prefers to discuss aspects of my life to a curated audience. Ain’t nothing wrong (nor weird) with either.

I absolutely understand why some people don't want to tell anyone, and it makes me sad that they have to feel that way. This shouldn't be something we need to feel bad about. This is an amazing, lifesaving procedure and should be celebrated as such.

Ok, I'm the rare weirdo that was absolutely not worried about anything. I was so excited and so ready that there was no room for nerves. When I got to the hospital that day, my surgeon said they could give me something for my nerves if I needed it and he was shocked that I didn't lol I was laughing and chatting and just ready. I haven't regretted it at all. I'm 5 1/2 months out, and I will say the week before and 2 weeks after the surgery were the hardest. Week before because of the liquid diet and 2 weeks after because my stomach was ultra sensitive and I had a lot of pain at my incisions. Week 3 was better, and by week 4 I was completely fine. There will be some pain, and you will absolutely have to relearn how to properly eat and drink. But I promise you, this will absolutely improve your life so much if you follow the plan and put in the work. It's a very useful tool.

I noticed quite a few people don't want to admit to having WLS, and I totally get it. But when hubby and I go to a restaurant, I always tell the server that I had gastric sleeve surgery and I will definitely need to make a couple of substitutions on my meal and I will need a to-go box (any time we go out to eat, my meal is good for that night and at least 1, sometimes 2, more). I've had a few ask questions about it, and they all have always congratulated me and were more than happy to accommodate my needs for the substitution (typically I swap out potatoes and/or rice for a side salad or extra veggies). I'm always proud to tell them I had the surgery, and I usually include how far out I am from surgery and how much weight I've lost so far. Is that weird? I don't feel the slightest bit awkward or uncomfortable about it. Not at all. My family and friends all know and cheer me on. I was never shy or worried about telling people, and I don't particularly care if anyone has a problem with the fact that I had the surgery. Again, is that weird?

Yep! I've gone down in length and width! It was shocking to fit into "normal" sizes as I've always had extremely WIDE feet.

I didn't notice it as much when I had a pixie cut. Before I was forever untangling my very long hairs from the hoover and cleaning my hairbrush. It was bad from 4 to 8 months out

Your comment ‘in my head I’m not satisfied’ set off alarm bells for me & I’m worried you may have developed an eating disorder of some sort even though you say you want to put on weight. Have a chat with your surgeon/doctor & ask for a referral/recommendation to a therapist who specialises in disordered eating. It’s hard to judge your weight without knowing your height but I would worry you are underweight at 100lbs. What does your surgeon or doctor say? I would also think you are eating very low calorie to be at that weight too so if you want to gain weight the first step would be to increase your caloric intake. You can do this easily without introducing cakes, cookies, etc. into your diet. Simply increase the nutritious foods you already consume. This can be through snacks & portion size if your portions are smaller than recommended. Not knowing your diet, consider adding multi/whole grains. Snack on cheese, fruit, vegetable crudities, nuts, some good fats like avocado. Your dietician would be best placed to advise you on this of course.

I was a long term smoker, I continuously stopped and started smoking so many times. I only managed it in the end by being in a hospital bed for 11 weeks. I never had chance to smoke. I figured that the nicotine was now out of my system. That was 12 years ago and I have never wanted to smoke again. I would never have stopped otherwise. My point is you will not get any judging from me. BUT - You need to stop now if you want this surgery. I believe some hospitals will not do the surgery if they detect it. You need to be as fit as you can for any surgery, Life is very unfair, just when you need it most your go to helpers are taken away from you. It will be a battle of wills for you. I hope you win. Good luck