My golden rule is: Don't beat yourself up, but do take accountability and work to change it. I ate myself into 130kg. There were certainly external factors that influenced it - I used to turn to cigarettes in times of stress, and in the long process of quitting, turned to food instead. Got addicted to sugar. I have an addictive personality, so I'm prone to it.
I regret getting myself there. I felt horrible, and hit really low points in the year before my surgery. It's not a nice place to be. BUT - I did take charge, I did make the steps towards my last option to fix it with getting my bypass. I'm responsible for my obesity, but I won't beat myself up about it. We're human, we make mistakes, some of them affect our health, but there's nothing that self-flagellation can fix. Instead, embrace the steps to change, and cheer yourself on.
Your first appointment towards fixing yourself is a big step in taking yourself back - be happy with yourself for taking it! xx