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whoops - sorry - I think my cat stepped on the "Quote" button!!

awesome. Congrats.

Hey all! Woah, I didn’t mean to make this so long, but I’m a rambler. This is my first post and I'm not sure if it belongs here, but it’s going here lol. I’ve been battling depression and obesity since I was a child. I hit 200lbs when I was 12, and although I was an active dancer in highschool and walked so so so much (my friends and I were mallrats with no cars) and saw a nutritionist in my junior and senior year, I was probably around 215 when I graduated. For a 5’2”, 17 year old girl, that was already morbidly obese and it just went up from there. I was definitely in survival mode for the next few years, on a few antidepressants, working and going to school, just trying to live. The earliest data I have from my FitBit and MyFitnessPal has be at 275lb in 2016, and I know I went up to the 290s in 2017, because 2017 is a blank on my trackers, and knowing me, I was too ashamed to record it. The next I have is 273 in 2018. I went off my antidepressants around the end of 2017, and while I was mentally “white-knuckling” it, I started losing weight. But it was very much a lose 10lbs, gain 15-20 cycle. Then my birth control made it worse. At the beginning of this year, I was stuck in a plateau of 231, and I talked to my doctor about my disordered eating, and she got me a therapist and I got myself a personal trainer. At that doctors appt, I almost asked for a referral for surgery, but chickened out and asked for a therapist and a nutritionist instead. Love my therapist, but the nutritionist wanted me on a 1200 cal diet that didn't mesh with disordered eating at all. An important note here, is that my mother, who has passed, had the RYGB circa 2002. So surgery has always been in the back of my mind. After a series of unfortunate events in March, I lost 10lbs rapidly and realized my bmi (40) was at the cut off for surgery with no comorbidities. At the beginning of April I asked my doctor for a surgery referral. She offered me Wegovy or Saxenda, but I really can’t see myself using injectables for the rest of my life, so she went ahead with the referral. Had the first consultation a little over a week later, did a few zoom classes, completed forms, did the psych eval (actually awful), and today I got an email saying my insurance approved me and my program would contact me soon for a date. My reasoning is that I see my trainer twice a week and my therapist and I are working on my relationship with food, but I’m getting older and I have that historic lose/gain cycle, and my weight has been a source of unhappiness literally my entire life. Surgery isn’t going to fix everything, I know that, I’ve talked to my therapist about that, but she and I agree this would be a great tool for me in conjunction with the other changes I’m making. My trainer, who is a family friend, doesn’t like the idea. But she’s only known me as an adult, she doesn’t see that a lifetime of yo-yo dieting and trying to stay active isn’t cutting it when I’m still carrying an extra 100lbs. A close member of my family wants me to do keto again, because that was my biggest diet win, but that also didn’t mesh with my disordered eating in the long run. Since my consult, I’ve lost about another 6lbs, firmly putting me where I was when I was a teenager, which is a surreal feeling, but it’s being used as proof that I can “do it on my own.” Honestly, my mindset is that I’m eating less in preparation for surgery. There’s been memes shared on instagram stories of people who I know must know I want to get wls done, calling the surgery “body mutilation” and how “surgeons regret performing bariatric surgeries because it's unnatural.” It makes me doubt myself, like is this just my depression wanting to “mutilate” myself, or is this me trying to overcome my depression and finally do something for myself? What was it for my mother? I was too young to ask her these questions and now I can't. This is a very long post to ask; I’m doing the right thing, right? Am I being rational and making sense? I know I can lose the weight, but keeping it off is constantly clawing and if I slip now just a little, the lose/gain cycle could catch up, and I'm so tired of it.

Thank you all. The webinar session is going to be going over the different procedures and the pros and cons with a doctor talking about it. I am glad to hear for some it was helpful. I am trying to get all the information I can to make the correct decision for myself. I believe in gathering all the information you can Good and Bad before, making a life-altering decision like this.

My cousins near Boulder said the same about random food shortages and weather. I used to live near Vail and we would take my truck down to Denver to load up at Sam’s club for a month’s supply of food because back then, 90’s the local stores carried fois gras but no lasagna noodles! That would be very tricky with an MS flare up. I’m glad you found a good solution for your situation. Price is relative in that state for sure!

My first were just the other day. Grilled onions and mushrooms. Very soft and I felt like a train the way I had to chew, chew, chew. But my stomach was totally fine. Tonight I had twice steamed broccoli that was cut up, and again I chew, chew, chewed and it was also fine. But also remember to eat slowly. It'll feel fine AT FIRST if you eat quickly, but then it all settles in your stomach and YIKES. Not fine. NOT...FINE....

It may take a few months to get used to eating more…both in volume and in calories. You are not even 6 months post, so you may be limited in your volume ability. You dont need to eat 1200 cals today…just aim to get there eventually (and trust me, you will). I reached goal at 7 months, and it took me 4 months and an additional 15-ish lbs lost before i found my maintenance balance. For me, this was about 2000 cals a day at that time. Which honestly was a Herculean effort as I too was sub-800 cals throughout weight loss phase. I got full really quickly back then (and still do today, but to a lesser degree) so i relied on chicharron (i.e., pork rinds/cracklins). I know, I know, its really high in fat so it may not be everyone’s bag, but for ME it was high in protein, zero carb, and did not stuff me like meats did/do…and its SUPER high in calories. Im 3.5 years out now and pretty much have been maintaining my weight ever since (+/- 5 lbs), and average about 1800 cals these days (eating all sorts of food, both healthy and not-so-healthy, and yes, i even eat bread now, lol) Do what you can, a little bit at a time, and you and your body will get used to more calories AND volume eventually. Good Luck! ❤️

Yeah, mine ended up halfway down the back of my thighs. Three years on & still not back though it is a little better shaped thanks to the slight redistribution/resettling of my remaining fat in my second year. If you are also experiencing bony ass syndrome, I can reassure you it does get a lot better eventually.

My surgery was April 4th of this year. I can't keep anything down. I'm not getting enough protein or fluids. Water, protein shakes, protein waters, jello, pudding, etc all comes back up. The only thing I can eat are sugar free Popsicles. I also suck on sugar free hard candy to help with dry mouth. It's frustrating. The hard part is I cook for my family and it's difficult because I can't eat any of it. I have an appetite but everything makes me throw up (I cant move past full liquids until I reach my protein goals). I'm back at work also and at lunch everyone goes out to eat and bring their food back to the office. The smells make me want to throw up but I miss eating. I feel like I might have a mental break because I really want to cry when I think about not being able to eat and constantly throwing up. Is anyone else experiencing this? Not being able to keep anything down? Just to clarify I only take in about an ounce or 2 of liquid before I feel nauseous and usually with an hour or two it's coming back up.

All this stuff is true. I would however like to give a male point of view. Men who are obese are not "given a pass" as some like to say. I too thought it was more accepted until I lost 100 pounds and it is amazing how differently people treat me since I am now skinny. I am asked if I need help more quickly in department stores, I am addressed more quickly in car dealerships or whatever environment I show up to. I am treated more politely at the doctor/dentist office and the list goes on. The weight discrimination is there for men too.