I don't know your age, situation, weight, other health problems, etc. If you think you can do this without surgery, then do it without surgery. I am not being sarcastic. It is a huge, life-altering decision and if I could do it without surgery, I would.
But the surgery isn't just another way of saying, "Eat right and exercise." I understand what your husband is saying: with or without surgery, you will have to watch what you eat and stay active. But I struggle to explain to people how the surgery changed me, in terms of my relationship with food. Bypass/sleeve doesn't just make your stomach physically smaller; it changes the hormones from your stomach. My cravings for food are so much weaker and different; I don't crave rich foods (I am much more likely to crave saltines than cake). More than any time in my life, I see food simply as fuel rather than a source of pleasure/joy. I choose foods as much for how they will make my stomach feel than how they taste (my stomach will find it much easier to digest fish than steak, so I am much more likely to order salmon at a restaurant than sirloin). It's easier to stay disciplined when you don't even feel the same tug toward the foods that destroyed your old diets.