Okay, I can totally hear you on this. Same thing here. I'm 3 years post-op. COVID and life wreaked havoc in my life, lost my 16 year old fur baby . . . 2020 and 2021 SUCKED!
But I finally saw a sign that said, "Remember why you started this." and it hit me - - - I had to get my health back.
I was embarrassed by my weight gain because after WLS and reading some of the forum posts where people gained weight back, I thought "Oh! I'll never be one of THOSE people!" HA! I am!
But I finally found light at the end of the tunnel on November 22nd. Something finally just clicked in my head. I started going to the gym and I've been 35 out of the last 40 days. I joined Weight Watchers two weeks ago and as of this morning I've lost 3 pounds.
I have depression, which it sounds like you probably have after all that you've been through, and I see a counselor every 3 weeks. We do online video conferences. It's very helpful to talk about my stressors and fears.
You are NOT a failure! Forgive yourself, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and join me on a journey to refocus on our weight in 2022.