I chose to do the surgery because I was tired of being held back, energy-wise, by carrying two of me around everywhere.
I'm an aspiring filmmaker and photographer. I've been at this for 3 years, and my weight was holding me back because I would go into a shoot knowing that I had a finite amount of energy to work with and I better make it count. I had to tap out early from a once-in-a-lifetime shoot over the summer because after I had dragged all my gear up the stairs I was too tired and sore to keep going for much longer. I fainted while taking a friend's wedding photos over the summer because I overheated.
Additionally, my content is on YouTube and I was constantly worried that someone would discover my "dirty secret"--that the "Betty Badass" urban explorer they were watching was morbidly obese. I'd go out of my way to edit around portions of my footage where you could see my reflection in shop windows, etc, because I didn't want to be made fun of. My fear of my own camera kept me from connecting with my audience.
I decided to appear on camera for the first time two weeks after my surgery--I told myself it was time to be fearless and if someone had something to say, they can watch me shrink over the next year and eat their words. I managed to accumulate about 3-4 months of content before my surgery that I'll be putting together while I'm recovering, and I can't wait to hit the road again. I can't wait to be able to actually ride my motorcycle. I can't wait to not get winded going up stairs.
If I can survive this process, I can survive anything. There have been moments since the surgery I've felt like I was walking barefoot through hell, but I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know how indestructible I am now.