"I love your smile!" This dude says this to me on my way into the grocery store today. And I'm thinking to myself....ok, that was odd.
Then, I get a couple more big smiles and winks and weirdness.
I asked my 80 year old mom who was with me today...."What the hell is going on? Do I look odd? Am I missing something? I'm getting strange looks."
And without hesitation, she goes.... "It's your boobs."
"What?"
"You have a little waist and big boobs. You usually don't wear fitted shirts."
And she's right...I'm wearing a sort of snug fitted shirt. My bestie made me try it on and she said it looked awesome on me. It's not hoochie or overly tight or anything....just not something I'd usually wear.
Ok...this coming from my 80 year old mom was wild enough....but literally minutes later...some dude runs over to help me lift one of those 40 pound pails of cat litter into my cart.
"Wait, let me help you!" Mr. Helpful says, dashing over grinning like a madman.
And I thanked him. Twice.
But I'm thinking to myself.....where the hell were you when I weighed 270 pounds and my back was killing me?
Sometimes I kind of enjoy it....but most of the time it's incredibly uncomfortable to not be as invisable anymore.
I mean, the sweet compliments and help are incredibly nice and all....but sometimes I feel gross about it. I am still a fat girl on the inside. I'm still angry and hurt that people are shallow assholes.
Any of y'all know what I mean?