Hi @lizonaplane (my almost surgery twin)...
I totally get where you're coming from. And I have hunger too. So my rule now is if I can do something else and distract myself and half an hour later I'm not hungry, then I wasn't really hungry and it's my d-bag brain trying to get me fat again. If I'm still hungry half an hour later, I eat.
I don't know about all these rules. I understand about not grazing, and I understand about eating slowly, but good grief. Set a portion size (one of those 4 oz. Gladwares?) and eat that, then wait an hour and see if you're hungry again. If you're not, you done good. If you are, and you consistently are, then adjust your portion size slightly.
I will say that as I progress to "thicker" foods, I get full way faster—cream soups fill me up faster than broth soups, etc.
You got this, sister.