I think it's fantastic you're starting this journey for yourself. I am 7 weeks out now from my gastric sleeve and I am definitely one of those who wishes I would have done it sooner. I was terrified at the idea of having surgery. I had my gallbladder out years ago, and for many years I just couldn't see myself purposely making the choice to have surgery. Finally, after multiple weight losses and regains and my body feeling exhausted at doing any little thing, I said enough is enough. I am so happy I did now. As for the catheter fear, I was so scared of that too. I did not have one. And like Lizonaplane said, they want us walking around literally hours after the surgery. And trust me, as tired as you will feel, walking is so good 'cause it helps to get rid of the gas pains. Also, let your surgeon know you don't want a catheter that way they know. I told mine I didn't want one. I'm not even sure if he does them or not, but I just made it clear I really didn't want one if it could be helped.
I worried about risks too, but again just as lizonaplane said, they are rare. I kept looking at it like, either I go and have surgery now and fix this, or keep going downhill with my health and wind up in the hospital for my health down the line anyway. The fact you have such a supportive family is awesome! It makes such a huge difference to have that sort of support. I have that too and it has made this such a smoother process.
One last note... I was very nervous the morning of surgery and I asked them to give me something to help me calm down before they took me into the OR. What they gave me was amazing! So, you can ask for something before your surgery too and it really REALLY helps. It's good stuff. My sister said I apparently gave her a big smile and thumbs up when they were wheeling me out. I do not remember that. Last thing I remember was being told to move to the table. Then, I was waking up in post-op.