Hi All,
Just wanted to know what others have experienced. For some reason I am having daily anxiety. I absolutely can't stand it as it hits out of nowhere at all. I am only 17 days Post-Op, take my vitamins daily, and still taking my Metformin until I am blood tested again. I do not want to go on an anti anxiety medication. I had been on Lexapro for 4 years at which point I put on a lot of weight going from a size 4 to 1-2X. I lost all motivation on working out as well. I went off the Lexapro completely 2 months before surgery and started actually caring about myself which is why I decided to do this surgery so I could get my health back on track. Following my weight gain, I developed diabetes, Apnea (now using a C-Pap for a year) and NASH of the liver. I notice exercise helps with the anxiety for sure but I cant seem to get a decent response from the medical community to help me feel better about this. I asked my surgeon why this sudden onset of anxiety that hits for what seems like no reason at all and his response was if I am eating right and exercising that this could be the cause because of sudden change and that maybe people are treating me differently and all of this is causing anxiety. I then told him no - people are not treating me differently. My family is amazing with all of this and I am working out of the house so have not been around others for them to treat me differently. In my case this is absolutely not the case at all. I pressed on asking if chemical changes in the body could be happening due to the surgery that may be causing this and he said yes. Wondering why I had to keep poking to get that response at all and yet because that was not the first response I am even doubting that. Why not just tell me that since I made it clear I am having these spikes out of nowhere and can't figure out why. I am finding myself overthinking everything right now honestly. Wondering how I will tolerate eating anything at this point or will I ever be able to. My doctor keeps his patients on a 5 week post-op liquid diet before you go on to a pureed / soft food diet for another 3 weeks. So unsure of myself right now and considered I made a huge mistake and so very much want to get passed this feeling more than anything in the world. Part of me is happy I did the surgery for my health and the results of weight loss I have seen thus far but another part wonders why I could not get back on track on my own and worried about long term complications. Like once I start eating will I have a sudden stomach leak, will I have no ability to hold down food or end up on liquids for the rest of my life? Will I ever be able to enjoy a glass of wine again and comfortably get on with life in a better more healthy way. Will I end up with Gallstones that cause another surgery or will I have stomach blockage in the future and how will I know if I do? I want to celebrate my choice to have done this and enjoy the weight loss but instead I am having so much self doubt and it's making me miserable. My liver health alone was cause to do this along with the diabetes so what is my damn problem? It is really hard to deal with this and I'm frankly pissed at myself for letting the anxiety get to me. I am considering going back on a lower dose of Lexapro again at least until this simmers down as I am hoping this is a chemical change in my body due to part of the stomach being removed and all the dietary changes just concerned it will make me not give a crap again and go lazy. IDK, if I knew factually this was all going to be a temporary reality then I would do it until the body goes back to normal.