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Good morning everyone. About to head to the hospital for my pre-admin testing. Just want it to be done and over with I hate getting my blood drawn ugh! Wish me luck!

24-year relationship here, and I agree with all of the above. I would say our relationship is stronger than before, in large part because my improved health has made me able to do more of the things we both want to do, and my self-esteem is also higher. My spouse was incredibly supportive throughout the entire process. He did a huge amount of research as well to be sure that he understood what to expect and what I could and could not eat (and to nag me when I was deviating from the program). I would say that the fact you are asking yourself these questions means that you are going to be supportive of your spouse and sensitive to her needs, so your marriage should be fine. I would think it's the husbands who are threatened by the their wife's physical (and emotional) transformation who pose a threat to the relationship, as well as those who simply don't care and are clueless. Just keep communications open with your wife throughout her recovery and let her know you are there for her.

Thoughts and prayers sent your way. Hang in there.

Sometimes we are able to tell who our true friends are by what we go through. You’re from the boot so am I, lol. You are also the same height as me and judging by what you’re friends said you carry your weight like me also. When I got down to 197 I look small being that I’m just 5’4. Keep your eyes on the prize and be glade you were able to separate the weeds from the wheat( fake friends from real friends) Find a support group close to you and make new friends😊

I had the same thing but drinking all of your water will help this. Also just make sure to moisturize right when you get out of the shower. But getting all of your water in is imperative and should help this issue.

Glad you were finally able to have the surgery. Hope you are doing well.

Worst two weeks for me were post op liquid. I didn't cheat, but I wanted to. Hang in there. The coming months will be great.

So, I haven't had my surgery yet, and don't have any personal experience to really add to that end of the discussion, but it does sound like you're freaking yourself out a bit. Anxiety is to be expected, I think, with any massive life change. From what I've read in these forums, and seen in the videos I watched of people who have undergone the surgery, the main culprit for splits tends to be the partner not being supportive (for various reasons like insecurity, jealousy, control loss, ect.), or the relationship had underlying issues that were made worse/more apparent by the lifestyle changes and new found confidence. Based on what you've written, neither of those would apply to your relationship. You sound like you're doing as much as you can to support your wife, and that's honestly really amazing. Be more kind to yourself If you are finding that you really can't shake the anxiety, it may be beneficial to see a therapist too. I'm a huge advocate for therapy for basically all things mental health related. The surgery is definitely a big change, and a neutral third party who is trained in such things can help you navigate the feelings that come with it.

I don't think I could eat 4000 kcal a day anymore. I would be really uncomfortable. But I can eat 2500 easily if I'm not careful (and...I have). But doing that consistently will definitely cause weight gain. Long term, basically WLS controls how much you can eat at one sitting. Before WLS, I could eat half a large pizza at one sitting. No way could I do that now - it would be physically impossible. I can eat 1-2 pieces, and that's it. HOWEVER, there is nothing stopping me from eating 1-2 pieces at 6:00 pm, then another 1-2 pieces at 7:30 pm, and than another 1-2 pieces at 9:00 pm. Ta da! Half a large pizza in an evening. THAT is what you need to watch. and no - it's not easy to maintain. It's a daily struggle once you get a couple years out. I have to watch my intake and weight like a hawk, because if I don't, my weight starts heading north. But I do it because I don't EVER want to be morbidly obese again. EVER.

Quick update: September to December was not good to me at ALL. Not sure if this happened to anyone else working on covid-related projects, but in August I was quite optimistic that months of research and development and discussion would result in common-sense public health policy. So when it turned out that NONE of those measures were adopted (and this is after 16 hour days for months developing low-tech mitigation strategies specifically to head off an autumn surge), I and a lot of people I know absolutely hit a wall. Cassandra-like, watching predicted disaster unfold and all of these people we’d been talking to for months then publicly claiming they’d had no idea it could get so bad. It was like watching a series of tsunamis. Went into a massively depressive funk until mid-December and focused on nothing but keeping immediate family safe. Was weighing myself the whole time on my wireless scale and it’s really obvious that the gain is related to the (totally foreseeable and effing avoidable!) reopening and holiday spikes. Of course, gained a lot of weight. About 25 lbs in three months. Caught myself and plateau’d around New Year. So I’m rebooting now. Not wildly concerned about the reboot, but looking forward to just spending the next few months focusing on getting ready to reenter society. In jeans. Preferably the jeans I was wearing this time last year.