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So, I feel funny writing about this, but...has anyone else ever experienced a negative change in their social life post-op? I had my surgery back in January. Although my physical health has made drastic improvements, I'm afraid my mental health has taken a toll. I noticed people have been treating me very differently since having the surgery. I've been getting so many rude comments, I can't keep up. They think I "took the easy way out (not realizing it was actually quite the opposite: the last resort)," and/or are freaked out by all my new eating habits and restrictions or are saying cruel things like "oh, you'll just gain it back like so-and-so did anyway, you watch." A lot of them have also proceeded to claim my changed appearance "weirds them out." Some of my now ex-friends have even gone so far to complain that I "betrayed the body positivity movement by giving into society's expectations of what women should look like." What the actual heck? Even dating, something I thought would get better as I lost weight, is just as bad as it was before. Since I can't drink alcohol anymore or eat a lot of foods, guys have been pretty hostile. Although I've been private about my surgery while dating (simply stating I have a strict diet I need to follow), that hasn't stopped guys from being mean or rude. Bottom line here is I've lost a lot of friends this past year and my love life is no better than it was. I'm extremely lonely and depressed. Has anyone else ever encountered this? What can I do to change it? Why is there so much social stigma towards this surgery?

My dietician shared this app with me. It's called Ate. I'm not the best at tracking all the macros consistently, but this is a quick way to visually track what you've eaten. You just snap a picture, choose whether it is "on path" or "off path" - whatever that looks like for you. If you want to get more detailed, you can click on the picture and add notes and diary-type info like why did you eat, how did it make you feel, etc... There isn't a way to list all the macros, but for those of us who have trouble tracking consistently, this might be a nice alternative for you. It's also got a social component in that you can have "friends" who can see what you've posted and you can chat in the app. If you want to be friends on Ate, my invite code is FY21-TFRP

Good to know about other options out there. I've used MyFitnessPal for years.

I too am finding that I have cravings for the unhealthy foods I love. I don't keep those foods in the house - my husband's diabetic so we wouldn't have them in for him either, which makes it far easier to resist the cravings. I'm aware however that part of this is that mentally I feel I'm still "dieting" i.e. not at my goal weight. Once (hopefully) I reach goal weight I know I'm going to find it really difficult not to fall back into old habits. I need to deal with this. Thanks for your post which helps me know it's not just me who struggles.

I know what you mean - I no longer have to use t-shirts that I'm given as dust rags - I can actually wear them!

Yay!

I did a quick google, and you can reset your sizing preferences in your profile. You can also delete cookies on your browser for good measure

I had a distinct drop in energy about 3 months out. Just so damn tired. Almost fell asleep walking on my treadmill! I don’t have any answers unfortunately. Some say it’s the lack of carbs in our diets. Some say it’s just our body getting used to the reduced calories & increasing activity. It could be your iron levels as you suspect. My iron levels were very good & I ate rolled oats a couple of times a week, so .... It eventually passed. Mind you I slept really well at night & I’d been a bad sleeper for years.

Yes it definitely scares people. Thank you for the kind words and recommendation. Unfortunately, my surgeon's office no longer offers a support group. They did but cancelled it with Covid and only made the online option available to pre-ops.

There is still a difference between "hiding" and "advertising". Nobody wants patients to wear an "I had WLS. Kiss me!" shirt. But losing weight and giving people the "just diet and exercise, man" schlock is something that feeds into the lack of acceptance of WLS. There is always the middle ground. --- However, there will always be discussion about this issue and I think I have made my opinion on this clear more than one time in the past. In the end I won't change anyone's mind on this anyway. If people want to hide their surgery, they will hide it as best as they can. Some will be able to hide it, some will be outed and some will be talked about behind their back because people are not as naive as some seem to think they are.