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I’m in preop too but am curious.

Good Morning Everyone! So I have to tell my Father that I'm having the surgery on November 10th and I'm telling him tonight. I'm really nervous about it. He is the sweetest thing on Earth so I'm probably causing my own anxiety. The thing is my Aunt Susie (whom I'm named after) had a gastric bypass 46 years ago<<<yes you heard that right 46 years ago! In those days they reversed the operation after the patient lost their weight. My Aunt had the first operation with flying colours. The reversal was another story. After surgery while still in the hospital she got sepsis and eventually went into a coma and passed away. She was only 31 years old with two young children. It is a tragic, tragic story and I'm sorry for telling it however I don't want my Dad to be completely freaked out. I'm not at all freaked out. I have been on this journey since August 2019 and I have gone through all the medical and psychological testing required. I've done my research and the team that is taking care of me is from a "Bariatric Centre of Excellence". I'm not afraid. I'm excited. Besides that I'm pretty healthy. So any advice? What would you say? Would you even tell him? Suzanne

Best of luck to you!! You can do this!!!

As a parent, I would be extremely hurt if my child didn't tell me they were having surgery. Any surgery. A parent may not like some of your choices but I would think they would want to be there for you. And a reasonable discussion of the pros and cons would educate them. Parents aren't just people, no one will love you like a parent. I didn't tell people, but I told the ones I love and love me, but I also made it very clear that this was happening and it wasn't their decision to make.

Wow, that’s rough. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone being outright denied surgery because of the psychological evaluation (not that it’s never happened; I just haven’t heard about it). I have heard of people being required to get psychological treatment before getting approval for surgery. Did the psychologist say anything about that? Maybe you can wait until he sends the full report and see what it says, because it seems very strange that he would just say you’re a lost cause and will never be able to get the surgery. A lot of us have a bad relationship with food and issues with emotional eating and still get the surgery. Is it possible to get a second opinion From another psychologist? That said, you probably shouldn’t get the surgery until you’re mentally and emotionally ready for it. It’s a big commitment and a hard journey, and you pretty much only have one shot (ok, you can get a revision, but even that doesn’t usually work as well as the original surgery) and you don’t want to waste it. So it might be worth getting some treatment for your emotional eating before you get surgery.

Good point. If one’s pre-op diet is of the “higher-calorie” persuasion, one may continue to experience physical hunger (my pre-op diet was 3 shakes a day).

Not sure if this was on purpose or not, but what a great idea for those on the pre-op diet! EMPTY YOUR FRIDGE. Like @WishMeSmaller indicated above, the hungry feels will likely go away in about 3 days. If you can hold out 1 more day, you will be golden. AND if you keep doing exactly what you are doing, by the end of 7 days you could be pleasantly surprised with what the scale will tell you...which could give you the extra batteries and motivation to make it all the way to surgery day. ❤️ Good Luck!

Hi there. For me it was the other way around - I really wanted the bypass but my care team determined that it was medically contraindicated for me. I tried hard to change their minds but in the end I went with their recommendation. I was disappointed, but it turned out okay, I didn't have any major complications and the surgery has been effective so far. However, in my case, there was an actual medical reason why the bypass was extra-risky for me. I got a 2nd opinion and the 2nd doctor agreed it was contraindicated. In your case, it sounds like the surgeon just feels the bypass will be more effective? If there is no medical contraindication, it seems like after being told the pros and cons, you would be allowed to choose the surgery you want. What would happen if you just said, "Look, I understand your reasoning, but I'm not comfortable with the bypass. I want the sleeve."? Would he refuse to do it? Could you get a 2nd opinion? Maybe if another doctor indicates that the sleeve is a viable option for you, your surgeon will relent. Have you shared your concerns about the bypass with your surgeon? Maybe with more information, you'll be more comfortable with it? In any case, it doesn't seem right for you to be forced into a surgery you're not sure you want. You're the one who has to live with it, so you should be calling the shots (assuming there's no medical issue preventing the sleeve). I'd revisit the issue and get more information, then decide for myself one way or the other. Hope it all works out for you!

Congratulations. When I was 30 days from surgery I started creating a list of "50 things I want to do," I added it to my WLS journal which I updated every two or three days. After surgery whenever I accomplished something on the list, I would cross it off and add a comment. For instance #1 was "wake up after surgery." On 3 April 2003 I crossed it off with the comment "I did, in fact, wake up after surgery." I included what I call odometer goals, like weighing 4--, 3--, 2--, and clothing sizes. The fun ones where things like running, kayaking, dancing, etc. It was fun. Review your plan documentation. You should understand everything about your plan. If you're doing protein drinks, what are you going to do if they don't taste right, or they make you gag. Have options available, even ones you don't think you'll like. Be ready for the worst. Then your eventual food plan. Do you understand the principles of your plan? When you are out somewhere and your normal choices aren't available you need to be able to apply the principles to make a good choice. When you post a thread here asking for ideas on what you can eat, be sure to tell us your plan so that we can offer suggestions within your plan. In the first few months you can't not lose weight. If you go off plan and make bad choices, you will still lose weight. Your weight loss will be a positive reinforcement of your bad choices. When the weight loss stops the new habits you've built will be the bad ones. if you stay on plan consistently the weight you lose becomes a tremendous positive reinforcement for your new good habits. This helps make your new habits your new normal. You have some rough times coming up. Surgery hurts. Healing takes time. It will be hard. You will get frustrated. You will have to learn how to eat again, both mechanically (small bites chewed ridiculously well) and your plan. Be patient. In a short time things will start getting better. And better. Wow, this post sorta got away from me. Enjoy the ride. Tek

That is really unkind. you've lost weight and gotten healthier. I'm sorry they aren't being more supportive, you have so much to be proud of! be kind to yourself.