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So, I feel funny writing about this, but...has anyone else ever experienced a negative change in their social life post-op? I had my surgery back in January. Although my physical health has made drastic improvements, I'm afraid my mental health has taken a toll. I noticed people have been treating me very differently since having the surgery. I've been getting so many rude comments, I can't keep up. They think I "took the easy way out (not realizing it was actually quite the opposite: the last resort)," and/or are freaked out by all my new eating habits and restrictions or are saying cruel things like "oh, you'll just gain it back like so-and-so did anyway, you watch." A lot of them have also proceeded to claim my changed appearance "weirds them out." Some of my now ex-friends have even gone so far to complain that I "betrayed the body positivity movement by giving into society's expectations of what women should look like." What the actual heck? Even dating, something I thought would get better as I lost weight, is just as bad as it was before. Since I can't drink alcohol anymore or eat a lot of foods, guys have been pretty hostile. Although I've been private about my surgery while dating (simply stating I have a strict diet I need to follow), that hasn't stopped guys from being mean or rude. Bottom line here is I've lost a lot of friends this past year and my love life is no better than it was. I'm extremely lonely and depressed. Has anyone else ever encountered this? What can I do to change it? Why is there so much social stigma towards this surgery?

We had guests last week, my brother-in-law and his wife. I am close to both as is my husband so they knew about my WLS. I didn't mind the questions about what my guidelines were as they seemed to be out of interest. However, my brother-in-law and husband are both "bossy" and I found the dominant question being "Are you supposed to be eating that?" or "How much of that are you allowed to eat?" I recently graduated to regular food and was pretty much sticking to my quantity requirements so I had many "to go" containers in the refrigerator of my leftovers. If I deviated from my quantity requirements, I paid for it in misery but it was a reinforcement of why we have guidelines. I got lectures about how my brother-in-law lost weight and his exercise regimen. I wouldn't mind it if he were just "sharing", however, I was getting what I perceived aslectures at the end of their visit. I know that he cares and I have to take his personality into account so I am taking what I like and leaving the rest. With two of them (my husband and brother-in-law) at the table, it was a bit much but at least my husband kept reminding our guests that I had to eat every 3 hours. I know that people who do this sort of thing are uneducated about what it takes for us to meet our goals. It is a definite process and we have the tools. They cannot do it for us. If we could do what they have done to meet their goals, we wouldn't have been forced to take this major step. If we have people constantly telling us what to do then we won't know how to "self manage". I kept saying that I was in a "learning curve" and while I was making "mistakes", I was getting into a routine where the program was more intuitive. We have benefit of the knowledge telling us "what" and "why" and I don't mind educating but I don't want to keep explaining or justifying. I am tired of feeling, "less than" but it is hard for me to let people come to their own conclusions but I can't control others, I can only control how I react to them. All our lives people have thought they knew what was best for us. I am learning to say, "If I make a mistake, it is my mistake."

Some people may feel threatened or jealous. This is something that scares me, that I will lose people. I think in the end the people that are meant to be on your journey stay. As far as the others you just bid them farewell and good wishes. I have to admit before finally checking into getting surgery done. I had two friends that went to Mexico and had the sleeve done last year. I am admitting that I was green with envy when I saw them dropping weight. Here I was struggling with Hypothyroidism and emotional stuff and they were posting pictures looking phenomenal. I felt it wasn't fair. I sat and cried my eyes out because I have been working hard on my own to do it and nothing was happening. Having the initial appointment today was overwhelming. You have to change everything, so it is hard work and the stacks of orders of tests from the doctor. This surgery is a tool, not a cure all. No one lives inside your body, they have no idea what you go through. I have one friend that I connected with who has gone through this process (not to Mexico) and she is supportive. I am holding on tight to that friendship, because she may be the only one that understands. You are not alone. There is support out there, you just have to dig for it. I'm scared of the naysayers myself, but I know I have this forum, and that helps out tremendously. Sorry my answer is so long. LOL. -Best Wishes

Now that I think about it I had some temporary aversion to everything tofu and soy yoghurt. It lasted about 7 or 8 months or so.

I found that my tastes for certain foods has changed. For instance pre surgery I could not stand canned sardines or mackerel or liver Today I can eat them with no problem. Others I know have sworn off certain foods that they ate pre op. It's something that affects some but not all and for the most part cannot be explained.

I’m thankful that my body is teaching me to pause, listen, learn and renew. Thankful for this website and the lovely souls gathered to empower and encourage one another. Thankful for my sweet, gentle, strong, self confident, funny, tender, courageous, wise, spiritual and handsome hubby. Thirty years together and still crazy for each other.💖

I'm having huge cravings and the only reason I'm not giving into them is because I don't want to hurt my pouch. Just had GBS and I'm looking for alternative liquid/puree options for me to get through my favorite comfort food season! Sent from my SM-G973W using BariatricPal mobile app

Hugs and all best to you ahillig! It does sound so puzzling this far out. Good luck and please keep us posted.💖

You need to stop relying on other peoples opinion. This surgery is for you and you only. My wife threatened to divorce me when I decided I was going to have surgery. Here I am 7 months out and 112lbs down. Shes singing a different tune now.

ALERT: his new name is New&Improved. He changed his name every time we acknowledged his arrogance. From Mikeyy to Mike666, to Superman84, to MIKEYY84.