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I'm a guy, was married 27-28 years when I started toward surgery. My wife was like you, outgoing, social, etc. I am like your husband, introverted, insecure, a curmudgeon. Ok, here we go... I've heard it said "WLS makes good marriages better and bad marriages worse." My wife supported me 100%. But I initiated a similar discussion. Since I was always huge, I couldn't be sure that I wouldn't change. What if I did? We finally decided worrying about it doesn't and won't change anything. Worrying now (then) was wasted energy. I had no intention of allowing WLS to kill my marriage and we had to settle there. It wasn't just one discussion, we had it several times before and after surgery. Each time we reconfirmed our commitments to each other. Unless your husband is typically a jerk to you, I wouldn't count his insecurity against him. It's a fair concern. You both have issues and you love each other. But, once you remove your issues he fears he won't be good enough for the new you. Talk about it. Reassure him in no uncertain terms your feelings and intentions. Each time it comes up. Affirm your feelings toward him. If he is a total jerk, well surgery or not you have some thinking to do. My experience won't help you here. For the record, our marriage got better. My insecurities about the new me didn't blossom, but I'm still insecure. I am still me and I'm still in love with my wife more every day. She reports the same... but I think she's just being nice Good luck Tek

I'm doing well! Getting into the rhythm of getting all my protein in without relying too much on shakes or powder. Continuing to have a variety of foods. Had some people over last night, and had a bit of dessert/real sugar for the first time since surgery. Kept it all within my calorie limit, and didn't have any dumping symptoms. I don't plan on making dessert a habit, but good to know whether or not I'll get sick. My weight is pretty inconsistent as well. I stay the same weight for 3-5 days, lose weight the next few days and repeat. I do feel a difference in inches lost though!

before surgery that is! I had to take a pause and wait for covid and changing insurance to go through.. anyway, Oct 13 I will meet the surgeon, go to surgery scheduling, and go over benefits! Sounds like my surgery won't be until November, but it will be SOON!! I'm sooo excited!

I got a call from the bariatric nurse today. “We can schedule your surgery for October 2nd.” That’s two weeks away! And granted, that’s pending insurance approval, but holy cow! I’ve been in the program since March and everything has taken so long due to COVID. I just had my EGD last week, I guess I was just expecting a lot more waiting before getting a surgery date. I’m excited, but at the same time, I kind of wanted to have one last food (and drink) hurrah with friends before surgery. But not going to complain... the wait is almost over!

By having come to the conclusion that there is no "former fat person" and no "new me". There is just "me". And it was always only "me". We all evolve as people with the experiences in life we make. Education, relationships, work, coping with a chronic illness (obesity) etc. - "weight" is one of these factors. I know many shy people who feel awkward in social situations who were never fat, so maybe the shy fat person will simply be the shy thin person because it's simply their personality. By far not all fat people are shy and they're by far not always "the jolly ones". I know many fat people who're seen as confident people being good at their jobs. Most likely they will still be confident people should they ever lose weight. On a side note, I personally hold the opinion that a "former fat me" vs. "new me" mentality can have quite a toxic effect. When you belittle "former fat you", you're always belittling you. Then fake it until you make it.

All insightful advice above my opinion: Choose peace and happiness (which ever path that may be) Good Luck ♥️

I'm a guy and a bit further out. I was 600+ pounds. Now normal for my height. Before 2003 I was rarely seen in pictures. There were a few situations I couldn't avoid, but being tall I could stand behind everyone else. No solo pictures, no way, no how. Post-op I am still rarely seen in pictures. There are a few situations I couldn't avoid, but being tall I could stand behind everyone else. No solo pictures, no way, no how. In my work world, I've been a consultant for 45 years. I go to a new place, tell them how it needed to be done, I did it, then in 1-5 years when it was done, I moved on. Pre-op, I never went to social engagements, or out with staff. I was there to do a job, that's all. Post-op it's exactly the same. The one place it has changed is just out and about. People no longer bump into walls or poles because they are staring at me. Turnstiles don't freak me out. Restaurant seats don't freak me out. I no longer fear children. Well, I still do, but not as much. I can do physical activities as well as the next person. And, I can DO stuff. Stuff which I never dreamed I had any inclination to do. So, while a lot stays the same, a lot changes. Good luck, Tek

AJD you are a big guy like i was and i found that the crossfit shoes worked the best. They are made to support you Ankles. I also used a pair of High back baskeball shoes and they worked great - My key was to mix up the shoe types every day and it worked Now my lazy ass just walks around in Crocks and no problems. As you get to your goal the legs and feed will be much better, Trust me on this - Good luck

Thank you everyone for the replies and suggestions! I have really doubled down on being mindful of putting the mask back on if it has been pulled off as well as changing up my sleeping positions that ensure I am as comfortable as possible when going to sleep(I have found that alone has helped the most!) I am now up to 46% compliance with about 2 weeks to go. Hoping to hit 75% this month so I can send in my report to the surgeon's office before my last supervised diet/weigh in visit with my pcp! [emoji4][emoji4][emoji4] Sent from my SM-N986U using BariatricPal mobile app

@kerryp22 I’m having VSG surgery in Mexico so it took two days to be approved and scheduled.