You have been through a LOT! Physically and emotionally. Your body needs time to heal from all this trauma, so please try to not be so hard on yourself. You feel crappy. That's OK. Now just get better and heal. Your emotions will heal as your body heals. Find some fun stuff - puzzles, NetFlix binge, a good book, and hunker down and just baby yourself for a while. (But don't forget to walk!!!! You don't need a blood clot on top of all this.) You should be getting some nice weather about now so hopefully you can get out a bit and enjoy the fresh air. Hang in there!!!!