I think that's pretty common when making the decision to have surgery. I, too, thought I could try once again to lose it on my own, but I leveled with myself. What would make this time any different from the other 1000 times I've done it? Losing weight and gaining it back was pretty much the story of my entire adult life. Weight loss surgery was the only thing that ever worked for me. I'm glad I had it and I'd do it again in a heartbeat!