And it is Good Thing, I could have written your post but I did it even longer, 44 years with late hubby, still appeasing up until my RNY 9 months ago and like you, some want to me to return to the old Status Quo, well it will never happen, I am now Strong, resilient and under new management-ME and Only ME. Oh I still can be nice to other people but it will be on a More Adult Basis. The family Doormat has permanently retired!