I've been playing ostrich for a while now. Just came back to post tonight and found this old thread of mine, so figured I'd update it with, well, an update all-around.
Back in February, I thought my daughter (who's twelve and dealing with a chronic pain syndrome) was going to start receiving treatment soon at a top children's hospital. I was wrong. That was just an evaluation; she actually started the treatment program six days ago--some three months after that evaluation. Doing so required us to move five hours from home; my husband and two other kids are back home. That's an oversimplification, but let's go with it.
My older son was also dealing with debilitating mental health issues back then, which got worse before they got better. In early April, he told me his suicidal thoughts had become so intense he was afraid he couldn't handle them anymore, and we decided to do something radical--taking him three hours from home for 12 days for ketamine infusions for depression. The good news is, they helped tremendously. I truly believe he's going to be okay, which is HUGE.
The bad news is, my eating issues that I posted about in February never improved. I never improved them. I ate my stress away. Given that, I don't know that I've gained any weight. Maybe five pounds, maybe not, but my weight loss has AT LEAST completely stopped. As I said, I'm now living away from home, and I didn't even bring my scale. I am making an effort as of right this stinking moment to get back on track. With my daughter in this pain treatment program 40 hours a week, I'm finally free to help myself. I'm going to the YMCA tomorrow morning at 5:15, and I'm at least making an effort with my food. It's not good. Don't get me wrong. But it's better than it was. I'm also going to work. Did I mention, all this mess has meant I've done virtually no work since autumn, and I'm self-employed? My income is going to be 20% of what it was the year before. More stress.
I want to do well. I want to be healthy. But frankly, dealing with one kid in unbelievable pain for the past seven months and another who just wanted to die...Cheetos seemed completely reasonable for a while there. Sometimes they still do.
I'm back, and I'm trying. Good to be here.