Boy, you came to the right group to ask that question and get honest answers. Lol
I'm married 28 yrs n it's been 1 heck of a roller coaster! I know my partner sometimes better than myself, so I choose not to tell him anything until I was approved and in my 2 week pre op liquid diet.
Sad, yes, but necessary because when you live with passive aggressive or insecure partners, you have to be your own advocate.
(you must read the thread, "I want to throat punch my husband" just substitute husband for partner n you will see it not so uncommon. ) I already know there r issues there.
I agree with everyone, you need to do what is right for you when it is right for you. In the meantime, be strong in yourself and your decision to take care of yourself and let your partner know that up front. A week ago my husband was buying eggplant parm heroes for dinner for me while I'm on pre op liquid diet and not being supportive at all, questioning my decision and not agreeing with it...n last night he laid in bed with me and read through my entire folder and helped me put together a shopping list for my post op 4 weeks. Give her time to adjust and you just keep holding firm, she might just surprise you!
If not, you have a wealth of support here with people that know u r doing the right thing ????
Good luck????