The last thing I needed to get my surgery date was a CPAP machine. I decided to go through the VA for this, because they appeared to be pricy. They scheduled me an appointment after I sent my primary physician the results of my at home sleep study conducted through SNAP diagnostic. I paid $375 for the sleep study test which was done over the course of three nights. The VA scheduled me an appointment date that I thought was fairly far out, when I asked about getting an appointment sooner, they advised I had to have a physician appointment in order to receive the equipment. So, I am excited about getting this last little bit done, but I can wait.
I get to my appointment and the guy in front of me is asleep, in a wheel chair, and on oxygen. I go to the counter and make sure he is checked in before I check in. As I am waiting in the lobby I witness every other person checking in do the same thing I did. I am feeling good about people and my fellow vets taking care of each other. The nurse (LVN) calls me back for vitals and the standard questions start. I interrupt her and ask, do you really have to ask the same questions for every single visit? She said they have to because so many vets commit suicide. So I answer all her questions without her asking them. No, I am not depressed, suicidal, having trouble at home, in an abusive relationship, or homeless.
Next stop Doctor right? Nope, it is another nurse (I think nurse practitioner, but the fine print was too small to read). He spends 10 minutes advising me why SNAP Diagnostics isn't really very good and that their algorithm for determining pressure is outdated. Why they are going to go ahead and provide a VA CPAP even though the VA in-house sleep study is so much better. He then tells me how dangerous it was for my oxygen to go down to 77% for 20 minutes and how I stopped breathing 22 times. I am thinking, I read the report before I gave it to you, I want the machine, you don't have to talk me into it. He then describes how the new machines works and it is pretty cool, they calibrate automatically based on your breathing. Then I am thinking why did you spend all that time telling me about the math problem SNAP uses to calibrate pressure if the machine is going to do it automatically anyway. Then he says, we will see you back in a month or so to get you fitted for your CPAP. Wait, what about my dangerously low oxygen?
I really wanted to go off, but instead stated, I thought the reason I had to wait so long was for a physician appointment in order to receive a CPAP. He then advised that this is my physician appointment. I really don't care if they count a nurse practitioner appointment as a physician appointment, but I am thinking to myself I can read and your badge and it does not say Doctor, so someone is lying to me. But alas, I know if I don't stay calm I will not achieve my objectives. So, I explain to him that I will have to pay out of pocket again to re-do labs if I do not receive this CPAP machine. I also tell him that I know I can buy one on amazon or go through the medical supply store that SNAP recommended. He starts telling me why those are both bad ideas and I tell him I have to do what I have to do.
He then says he will see if he can get them to double book so I can see the Doctor today. Then he has the gall to say that my appointment will cause other 100% disabled and service connected vets to have to wait longer. So, I sit back out in the lobby feeling a little guilty, when I get called back sooner than expected by a tech who fits me for the machine and goes over all the instructions in less than ten minutes. She was super nice and wished me luck on my surgery. I thanked her for squeezing me in and told her how much money she saved me.
So, I will have my surgery date by next week. Since I am not officially on a pre-op diet I am going to have a 97 calorie shot of vodka later to celebrate not losing my sh** at the VA.