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I was wholly unprepared for the psychological aspects of the journey to bariatric surgery so I sit down to write this in the hopes that you might not make the same mistake that I did in taking this so lightly. When I first started out, I thought this would be similar to the journeys of the other weight loss attempts in my life so I totally discounted the psychology. In fact, I did not even want to think about matters related to the mind. It was the pre-op diet that forced me to take a very long and deep-seated look at the exact cause of my obesity; food is love, relief from clinical depression, and medicine. The realization hit me a week and a half into this pre-op diet that I am no longer going to be able to use the medicine that worked so well. I am a survivor of almost twenty years of verbal and psychological abuse from peers, teachers, parents, and co-workers. Food was what was simultaneous keeping me from suicide and basically killing me. If ever more morbid a paradox existed, I am at a loss for thinking of any. Even the times when I was thin, I always knew if things went downhill, food was merely walking distance away. I have had a range of emotions from anger and hatred towards those whom abused me, to hope and forgiveness. I write this a day and a half before my surgery as I go through a treasure trove of old digital photos of me in different stages of my life. I also went through and organized all of my music. It was something that necessarily had to be done because it's an important part of closure that I never did. I looked at the albums of photos with the two women whom ever had the courage to love me at one point in time or another. I kept them because I was grasping at straws to keep from going over a cliff. I hoped that one day one of them might be a part of my life again. However both are married now, and hindsight being 20/20, they would not be ideal mates for me nor I for them. I looked back on those photos with a mixture of pride, happiness, and sadness. Purging the photos gave me the closure that I needed. Love was possible twice, it will be possible again. I want to stop the cycle of self-loathing. I am not going into the operating room out of self-disgust, I am going out of self-compassion.

I've talked to him a bit. He said some do so I am very hopeful! Thanks!

Unless your budget is really really tight, I highly recommend getting smaller clothes as you go - because we have body dysmorphia and we fail to recognize/appreciate when we lose weight. It makes a big difference, it really does - it honors your hard work. If I put on my fat clothes, I feel fatter and like nothing is changing, if I put on those smaller fitted clothes I notice it a lot more and feel better. I especially like wearing a spanx camisole bra, a shirt that fits, and my skinny jeans from AE. Oh yeah!!! As opposed to my 2x pjs which make me feel that large.

When is the right time to exercise after a Gastric Sleeve?

My son took mine recently. That's the good part of it, the bad part, I was slumped in the recliner, sound asleep and didn't have,my dentures in. So,although I could pass for 45-50, in this one I look every one of my years and more. Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

Me too Creek! Sent from my SM-G920W8 using BariatricPal mobile app

Hi Jodie. I was banded in 2012. I lost 90 lbs. I’ve had several major back surgeries so I struggle a lot with exersize. I gained back 35 lbs but am working hard to get it off. I went back to surgeon. Got a small fill and started back on the very strict post op diet to try to jump start things. It was hard but it’s really working. It’s been s week and I’m down 6 lbs in one week. 2 protein shakes and one small healthy meal a day until goal. . No carbs or sugar. I feel better already. Good Luck!

So last night I'm partying at a club in Rome and a lot of guys start dancing with me one after the other. I was really flattered by the attention for sure but the REAL victory is that I danced the entire night from techno to hip hop and everything in between. I was not even tired...next level [emoji356]

Oh wow! I'm sorry you had a rough recovery. After the initial 3 days did your bowls pass gas on their own or were you prescribed something? How long was it before you began feeling energized?

Things I wish I'd know: 1. Surgery is not the hard part. It's one day of crazy and you hardly remember it. The hard part is the Pre-Surgical diet and the post surgical diet. Two weeks before and two weeks after when you pretty literally starve. It's hard. It challenges you. You get really tired of jello. And chicken broth starts to taste like chicken armpit. Compared to the diet two weeks before and after....surgery is a blink. 2. That drinking 64 ounces of water....one ounce at a time, in twelve sips every 15 minutes....takes up your whole freaking day. It's a pain in the ass to have to think about it constantly for days....but you have to, or you'll end up in the emergency room with dehydration. 3. How good I'd feel. I was bracing myself for weeks of fatigue and misery...and I know some people do experience this. But doing my program to the letter and eating all the calories/protein/fluids I was supposed to......I felt terrific. 4. How alarmingly dry my mouth would be after surgery. We're talking sandpaper tongue. OMG, so dry! Weird! 5. That weight loss happens in fits and spurts....that you stall for weeks and suddenly lose seven pounds. That your body works against you to prevent itself from having too much rapid weight loss and has a ton of built in evolutionary defense mechanisms to fight famines and survive. (that are insanely maddening when you WANT to lose weight rapidly) 6. That sizes now are much bigger than they were when I was in regular sized clothes years ago. Today's size 16 is shockingly big compared to 20 years ago.