I feel you on the fear. I was there not too long ago. I have been making excuses to my primary care doctor for the last 5 years. Then the blood pressure meds got prescribed, the thyroid meds got prescribed and the glucose started to creep up. I went from saying "what if" something went wrong during the surgery to "what if" I don't address my obesity.
In my case and in what appears to be your case as well... the what ifs for surgery greatly out weigh the what ifs against surgery.
Most surgeons have monthly if not weekly informational seminars. That did it for me. He presented the success % numbers with vs without WLS.. also met people who have gone through the surgery. Maybe check out a seminar or a local support group to calm your fears.
We are all here for you!
Cheers,
Rob