A gal who used to post on here framed it best for me... like me (and you) she had lost “on her own” several time and always gained if back. She called it weight MAINTENANCE surgery. It allowed her to keep it off. It’s done the same for me, for four and a half years. There’s a lot of biochemistry involved in who becomes obese and why it’s hard to lose and keep it off. Ghrelin, leptin, gut microbiome, seratonin.... sometimes the surgery is also a reset of some of those systems and can change the “thermostat” of where your body wants to be. It did for me. Do you listen to podcasts at all? This one is quite eye opening— https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/weight-loss-surgery-podcast-bariatric-lap-band-rygb/id662443588?mt=2&i=1000373855300