Gosh I totally get it. I have been going through my head for the last week or 2 (since my last RD appt). Yesterday I saw the surgeon and she's like...well hell! She said I had my 3 visits from the RD and she was gonna submit me for approval. We chose the surgery and wrote it in blood. Killed a newt and took its eye. Ripped out a lizard tongue and drew a pentagram on the floor. So I'm pretty sure this is a done deal. LOL. And I am scared.
On the way home I asked my self if I REAAAAALLLYYYY thought I would lose the rest of my weight on my own. Why would it be any different than the other eleventy billion times I've tried and failed. What would make it happen this time. What would make keeping it off a reality? Why wouldn't I just regain it all again plus the requisite 10-15%? The only answer I could come up with involved magic or voodoo.
Since I'm a good Catholic girl, I just figured I need to sac up and get my head, as*, and tummy in the game. (I had to "borrow a pair" to sac up...but you get the idea.) The reality is that the ONLY way I'm gonna be successful is to do something different this time. I think "that something different" is gonna have to be the RNY surgery. It just is and I have to get right with the Lord about that one. *sigh*
So now I'm in a waiting game. I "think" what's gonna happen is that I will get approved maybe in the next 2-3 weeks. Then my family vaca at Wurstfest that the surgeon knows about...then that Monday I would start the liquid diet. I think that means I will be in surgery (she only operates on Tuesday) on November 28 or December 5 and this sh*t is gonna be a reality...
So maybe we can get "the band back together" and be November surgery buddies. I just don't know if I'm jinxing things and jumping the gun by thinking it's gonna be November OR December. You know?
What are you doing to prepare your mental game for the "big show?"