Oh Lord have mercy. What a huge emotional state you must be in, so sorry. I am glad you came on here to ask for support. Can you lean on a close family member? Or a minister?
My first granddaughter, Alexis died at 18mos at the babysitter's. Funeral was the coldest iciest day in February and the blackest day of my life. Then 5 months later there was a murder-suicide in my family. I was shaken to my core and had to talk to my priest several times as I could not reconcile the anger and disbelief - it was my brother and his illicit girlfriend, they were both married. He had three grown daughters and she had two little girls that were left motherless. I cried and prayed and cried and prayed, it was not the brother that I had known. That was 20 years ago and I still have no answers to it.
Turning to food will not really provide any fix for your anger and grief, as soon as the food is consumed it will be there just as big as before. There is no going back. Don't be too strong, go ahead and feel the grief.
I wish I could hug you right now.