The hospital I'm at is super restrictive so what I'm gonna do is bring two bags: first, a duffle bag full of condoms, sex toys, and whiskey shot packets so when they look in the second bag, stuff I actually want to bring, they'll be like.. well this isn't half as bad. I think it would satisfy the intake nurses of their desire to have power over someone to be able to tell me no to the duffle bag, but not fight with me afterwards about the phone, tablet, pillow, anti-fart strips, etc.