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Hi everyone! New to BP, and really hoping to make some great friends who are going through the same thoughts and processes as I am, because right now I am feeling sort of alone. I have a very supportive boyfriend and family. I also have friends who have gone through this surgery, and even had the same surgeon I will have, which is very comforting. HOWEVER- I need to make some connections with people or are feeling what Im feeling right now,, Im scheduled for gastric sleeve on August 26th, and as each day gets closer Im getting more excited, but increasingly more nervous as well. It doesnt help that I am super nosey and read every horror story imaginable, and watch youtube videos of surgeons actually performing the surgery. Has anyone else done that?? Anyways, Ive been overweight most of my life, and when I finally got fit a few years ago, I immediately found out I was pregnant. 9 years and a gain of 120lbs later, im ready to take my life back. Ive yo-yo'd for years and have a boyfriend who has an enormous appetite and horrible eating habits but doesnt gain a pound-jerk. (lol) fortunately he loves me no matter my size, but I am ready to climb out of this fat suit andEXPERIENCE life again. I feel like I've sat on the sidelines for years watching friends and families enjoy their lives. I think to myself, "I used to be fun too". Now I let the fear of a little jiggle keep me from running and playing with my daughter, or dancing at a wedding, or going to a theme park or water park...ive missed years of making memories all because I am out of shape and afraid, uncomfortable because of the weight I am carrying, in pain because of the stress on my joints, but most importantly.- putting everyone before myself. Well not anymore. Yesterday was my last appointment with the doctor at the weight management center. I have been in a 6 month program, and have been poked and prodded, questioned, had psych evals, nutritional evals, group appointment, solo appointments, QUIT SMOKING and now finally I am 1 month away. Reality is setting in. WOO! But I am ready. One month from today I take my life back, one month from today I start living again, one month from today is the BEGINNING of the rest of my life and i am SOOOO ready! Ready to be seen as an actual person. Ready for people to LOOK at me when theyre talking to me. I dont want to be invisible anymore, or EVER again. I dont want to be the "wow you have a beautiful face" girl anymore, and I am ready to put in the work! Sorry for the rambling, but needed a place to vent to people who truly understand all the feelings and emotions, and I hope someone reading this can relate and will want to vent to me at some point too!! Laters!

I can so identify with a lot of what you've written. With the exception that I haven't been big all my life - quite the contrary. Four months after my third child, I was in a size 2. I've gained the majority of my weight over the past 8 years. It just keeps climbing and doesn't stop. Your paragraph on how you've sat on the sideline for years and think, "I used to be fun, too" and how your weight has kept you from going to the water park and missing out on memories because you are uncomfortable, etc - that rang deep with me. I have hidden myself basically. I don't perform in community theater anymore. I can't fit into my martial arts uniform, so I've stopped going to classes. I LOVED canoeing but haven't been since getting really heavy. I live in an upscale apartment complex with a resort-style pool; have never been to it. When I exclaimed to my daughter recently, "I'm over 200 pounds!!", she said, "but you're still very pretty in the face." So yea, I get it, girlfriend. A few of the chosen few I've shared this with give me that, "Wow, are you THAT vain?" look or they quip up with "maybe you should just try changing your diet and working out." Takes everything I have not to scream. Is it scary to me - having 8/10ths of my stomach removed? Heck yes. But, I, like you, am tired of living life on the sidelines. Being overweight has caused me to become an introvert. Something I am not by nature. I want to date again. To dance again. To go out with the girls and not be 'the fat girl" in the group. I'm with you! Let's take the reigns and go confidently in the direction of our dreams and live the life we've always imagined! Is it scary to me - having 8/10ths of my stomach removed? Heck yes. But, I, like you, am tired of living life on the sid