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I started my quest for weight loss surgery back in June, it has been a long wait. I got a surgery date of February 8th about a week ago, Then on New Year's Eve I got a call from Amanda, the surgical coordinator at Marquette General. She wanted to know if I would like to move into a January 12th surgery date!!!! I have been ready for this for years! I am so excited! I first investigated bariatric surgery about 20 years ago, but due to mortality rates, and the restrictions I chose not to do it at that time. That has been a decision that I have looked on with great sadness and disappointment, Fearing that there would never be another opportunity for me to have surgery. I will only have 11 days on my pre-op diet, and I am hoping that due to already lowering my carb and fat intake and increasing my protein intake the last couple of months; my liver will have shrunk enough for Dr Kemeter to be able to move it out of the way during surgery. I have not so far experienced too much hunger on this diet, but then again it is only the second day. I went through my dresser and closet yesterday, and got rid of some clothes that I wore to work at the store that I have no intention of every wearing again as long as I live. I also found a tote full of clothes that I wore when I was at my thinnest, and couldn't bear to part with. I am now washing them and hanging them up in my closet in happy anticipation of being able to wear them again.

Christmas! My favorite time of the year where I can eat as much as I want of great food and lots and lots of candy. Everything is allowed! Hmmm no anymore! This is my first Christmas after the lapband and it's been different than the Christmases of the past. Here in Iceland, Christmas is a 13 day celebration. You can just imagine all the food involved in that celebration!! Main Christmas meal with my family was Beef Wellington. OMG it was so good but I ate so little and the slices were so thick that I had to throw half of it in the trash. I felt so bad throwing such a good food out. We had so much left over that I didn't even feel right keeping it for later eating. Also we are big on smoked meat. We have both smoked lamb and then smoked ham (ham for new years) and I just had a little amount. I can tell you that I have NOT failed my band. I am so happy yay This is the first Christmas in probably my entire adult life that I haven't felt sick because I ate too much. I was being so careful. But we do have appetizers and deserts ugh those are my worst enemies! I decided to enjoy Christmas and have a little of everything and I do mean little. Trust me I've been very careful of not over eating. I never felt this "ohh I'm full" feeling this Christmas. But eating little doesn't mean the calorie intake hasn't risen. But we have to live, we have to enjoy. And let's talk about that a little. I asked if I could eat some pop corn at a movie trip. I got the response that it's high in carbs and we should not do recreational eating. Ok ok, I totally get that. But I go to the movies literally once a year! I don't enjoy going to the movies so on special occasions I do go if someone asks me. And yes that's once a year. A small bag of popcorn (not American size), and I mean a small size, this one time will not do any harm, seriously. What it can do though is that you could begin to crave it and eat it more regularly at home, now that's bad. But a small bag, not even a 0.5l Coke bottle fits in it, will not do harm. I had some and well IF and I say IF I have some again, it will be as a meal because that little bag made me full. And also some of it got stuck and I didn't feel that at all until I drank water. So I don't know even if I want it again. I've done LOTs of diets, I've done really well but I have always given up! Why? because the restrictions were always so high. NEVER eat candy, NEVER eat cakes, NEVER eat any sweets, NEVER this and NEVER that. Sure it works for some people but we all go through our own paths in this fight. Don't judge if someone decides to NEVER have something or if someone allows them selves to have a little on special occasions. What ever works best for us. Like my doctor says, we are humans, we have to be nice to us once in a while, or else we will not manage. And once in a while does not mean every week, it means like once a month or on special occasions. So, I might not loose weight this Christmas but I'm totally fine with that. I've accomplished so much this Christmas, I've won many victories (throwing out left overs) and my Christmas is so much better now than before. I love it and I feel good After Christmas, I'm going to work harder on my goal. I have set a goal for April when I'm going to renew my clothes and I'm going to make it

Thanks for the encouragement, I didn't think about Cortisol levels. Makes sense. Thank goodness today was the last stress related event; hoping to be able to jump start. Gosh, haven't had mashed potatoes for so long Have a great week. Theresa