I feel so much better since I wrote this. I really did need to face my feelings. I spent so long acting like my obesity was no big deal when, in fact, I was dying inside and it was eating me up. I knew was putting on a front. I felt like I needed to because although my friends and family are supportive of me, not a single one of them actually gets it. They don't know all of the pain and misery that goes along with being morbidly obese, nor do they understand the psychological toll it takes on a person. I feel like here, on this forum, I can be me, the good, the bad, and the ugly, and I am not judged. It feels so good to finally face my true feelings.
I met with the nutritionist this week. She was very kind and helpful, and I will be taking a 4-hour class from her prior to surgery. I may even have my surgery date this coming week! Things are getting pretty real right about now! I am ready to become who I am meant to be, not who I have let myself become.