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So a couple of Saturday's ago I had to go to traffic school. I was not a happy camper. I have had exactly one ticket in the over 34 years I have been driving... a speeding ticket in 1983 coming back from a Barry Manilow concert (and yes I was a party animal in college ). So imagine my surprise when I got a ticket through the mail. My town has invested a lot of money in red light cameras, speed cameras and such. They even have a van that they park unattended in sneaky places. My picture from three angles, not coming to a full stop before making a right on red. $171.00 for the ticket and $185.00 for Defensive Driving School later I found myself sitting in a small conference room at a local hotel I thought had closed, with 15 other folks to take an 8 hour class. So here's what I learned about my weight that Saturday...I am the worlds champion at rationalizing my behavior away. As folks were coming in we were all like "what did YOU do". So I spin a tale of being sick (we had had the flu for 3 days and I was on a ginger ale run), it being really early in the morning (yep, 0525) and there being no one else on the road (true, just look at the picture). And as I told the story for the 3rd time I had my epiphany...I was telling all that extra information to somehow justify that I had indeed broken the law instead of just saying, I ran a red light and owning up to it. I do that All The Time with eating. Have you ever thought (or even told someone): I really didn't eat lunch, so this pizza is lunch and dinner I worked out really hard this morning, so this donut is not so bad I'm starting fresh on Monday, so the Dairy Queen Sunday night is just a last treat I forgot my lunch, am pressed for time, so of course I had to get the fried fish sandwich through the drive through I could go on but I think you see the pattern. I have developed a great ability to rationalize because it is easier than taking responsibility for my eating actions. Last week, there was a thread in the forums about logging your food intake. I have never been very good at that, because I didn't want to see what reality was...can you say denial. But here's the thing, if I don't get over this mental speed hump, I lessen my chances of having a successful outcome. I go see the NUT for the first time in just over a week and will begin my 3 month supervised weight loss at that time. That doesn't leave much time! So this week I'm going to log everything I eat...in my blog...for realsies! This should be an interesting experiment because my daughter and granddaughter are coming in on Monday and we have the 4th coming up of course so that means I have to fix BBQ Ribs right?

so it's 10 days away... the count down has begun. Tuesday starts the liquid diet for real, although I have been testing things out this last week to see if I like any sugar free, fat free stuff. I'm pumped and terrified! So most of you reading this are on this journey with me, so you've been standing in front of the protein aisle at any number of stores staring at protein levels and prices and flavors and the bars etc. I started to twitch in KMart, although it didn't have much in the way of variety. Then I decided perhaps GNC would be better. Some of those tubs you could fit a small child in. Who eats this stuff on such a regular basis that they need a 6 month supply at a time? In the vitamin aisle I nearly had a nervous breakdown. How many kinds of chewable vitamins do we need? Really? I'm happy and proud to say that I'm all stocked up for at least a month or more. I looked at a number of web sites that specialize in bariatric stuff and it just seems like such a racket. The prices seemed so over inflated. I know they need to make a profit but aren't we already going through enough learning how to work our new digestive tracks? Should we also go broke trying to maintain it?

I started my liquid diet today feeling really good about it. I can't believe July 8 is the day my life will change for the better. I do planned to go to the gym at least twice a day since the gym is next door to me( smile) I broke my weight loss down in stages Pre stage Liquid diet June 26- July 8 lose 20lbs 1 stage- Aug. 6 - Feb 6 lose 130 lbs 2 stage Feb 7 - Feb 7 a year later lose 100 lbs 3 stage to get to my goal weight 175 lbs how ever long it takes

Today is the first day that I can add something to my diet (beside protein shakes). I made drinkable oatmeal this morning. My tummy didn't love that, but maybe 1/2 cup is too much. Then for dinner I just had 1/4 cup of pudding. That wasn't so bad. Still feel pretty full though. Isn't it weird that 1/4 cup of ANYTHING makes me feel full. CRAZY! Oh well..... I have been sitting here thinking about what it will be like to buy clothes in a small size. I am really looking forward to that.

One Month Post OP Weight: 279.4 Weight Lost: -6.9 (two wks) Total Weight Lost: -25.5 BMI: 44.2 Wow, a month really flew by quickly! It does not seem like it has been that long. For the most part I am feeling good. I still get heartburn when I eat most of the time. I saw the doctor yesterday and he that it could either be that I am eating too fast still or it could be actual heartburn. I honestly do not know how I could possibly be eating too fast. I feel like I eat extremely slowly. I even downloaded an app called “Eat Slower”. You set the time intervals and it chimes at you when it is time to take a bite. But the doctor said that my sleeve is still swollen from surgery. It takes 6-8 weeks for the swelling to completely go down. So heartburn is not an issue until my 3 month visit. If I am still experiencing heartburn then he will have to order an upper GI. Here’s to hoping that the heartburn goes away. He also gave me a prescription to help with it for now. One concern that I did have for the doctor was the rate of my weight loss. It seems like a lot of people that had their surgery at the same time or after I did have lost more weight. He said that my rate of weight loss is good and that I have nothing to worry about. At 6 months is when it would be time to worry if I am losing weight too slowly. That was encouraging. I feel like that once I get back to work in a week and a half that I will start losing faster. 1) I am on my feet moving all day long and 2) the gym that I belong to is right by where I work. These two things will definitely help. I am still not exercising as much as I really should. Tomorrow I am going to Denver. I am super excited. I have never been and am looking forward to it. I am still on my pureed diet however, which puts a small damper on the trip. But I think getting out of the house and exploring Denver will be a good thing for me. Get me ready to go back to work and kick start activity. The last thing that I am still have trouble with is getting all my liquid in. Still not hitting that 64oz target. The dietician said that as long as I am getting to at least 50oz right now I am doing well. But I really want to get that 640z. Thanks again to all who are reading. I appreciate the support and hope that my journey can help someone with theirs.