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Originally Posted on 05/21/2014 Link to original post: http://www.bigfatloserblog.com/2014/05/the-truly-scary-part-of-bariatric.html Since I announced the surgery, I have had a lot of people ask me if I'm nervous or excited about the surgery. Obviously, it's a mixture of emotions. While the surgery is a large commitment, I am not really nervous about the procedure itself. Dr. Jones does more of these surgeries than I care to think about, and at this point I'm sure he could perform it with his eyes closed (although, I'm not volunteering for that). The hospital where I am getting the procedure is brand new, and high tech. I don't expect any problems. However, I am scared of what comes after the surgery. I know what to expect in terms of my body and my health. I know what I need to do to ensure a successful surgery and recovery. What is NOT predictable is how the surgery will change me as a person. What do I mean when I say that? Well, I have known several people that have had bariatric surgery done, and it completely changed them. It transformed them into self entitled monsters. Granted, it doesn't affect everyone this way. I haven't noticed any changes in my family member that has had it done. However, out of the 5 people I know that got it done, only 2 of them have remained similar to their old selves. Let me tell you story of my (former) best friend. He had a Gastric Bypass done. Before the bypass he was truly my brother. I spent every waking moment of my life with him from age 16 until he moved away to Houston. Amanda and I went and visited him about a year or so after his surgery, and he looked fantastic! My initial thought was how confident he was. I could tell he was happy in his skin. The longer I spent there, the quicker I realized that it wasn't only his confidence. He seemed a little different. He spoke of his friends there in Houston, and they were not the type of people we would normally hang out with. These people weren't good people. They dabbled in things and activities that he would NEVER have participated in before. He explained that he had "come out of his shell". He had the confidence now to meet new people and get out of the house. I dismissed it, because after all, he had always been overweight, and maybe it was time for him to sow his wild oats. Fast forward to about 5 years in the future. I got a phone call one day from him. He was back in town, and wanted to visit. So, without hesitation I invited him over. We had some drinks, and I offered to let him crash at my place. To cut a long story short, and because it's a little painful to talk about, it ends like this. He hacked into my PC, he stole my credit card numbers, and he talked ALL night about people that were out to get him. Like some type of weird paranoid tweaker. He said filthy things about my ex wife, and was incredibly vain. Insisting I feel his arms because he was "ripped", and this went on all night. I later learned that this surgery can change you. It can transform you into a different person. With confidence comes great risks. Especially if you have lived as a fat guy for most of your life. You get attention that you normally would not get. This can result in pretty nasty personality changes. I am FAR from perfect. I have some issues with being selfish, and I can be a bit of a cynical a*****e. However, I pride myself on my manners, and try to have respect for others. I like me. I like my personality. Moreso before I started suffering with depression. However, I remember how I use to be, and I want to be that way again. I am terrified to let this surgery change me into someone that my friends don't like to be around. I tell myself that the fact that I even acknowledge that this could be an issue may be a good sign. Being aware of my actions and behavior is the first step of preventing negative personality changes. I learned from my psych eval, that as much as I would like to avoid it, Anti-depressants are going to be in my near future. With my past struggle with depression and anxiety, I simply can't afford to take any unnecessary risks.

Everything going fine with the VSG. Thank God I didn't have any type of complications. I'm doing very good and have lost a total of 59lbs. I'm losing approximately 8-9lbs a month which is great for me because I want to lose the weight slow. I have a personal trainer 3x a week that comes to my house which helps A LOT! I'm getting my shape back, I feel so good. I'm so happy with my sleeve.

One Week Post-Op Weight: 289.4 Weight Lost: -4.2 Total Weight Lost: -15.5 BMI: 44 A whirlwind of a week has ended. Most of it seems like a blur. But here I am now, one week after my surgery, and for the most part I feeling good. I have sure had my downs, but I keep telling myself that it’s all worth it. The support of my family and friends definitely helped me get through the bad days. Monday morning was surreal. We got to the hospital about 30 minutes before we were supposed to be there. It’s probably the first time I’ve been early for anything in a long time. We go to the lab for one last urine sample. I was also dead set on getting a notebook or notepad or something that I could write on for after the surgery. The Wal-Greens inside the hospital did not have anything, so we go to the gift shop, where I’m sure I overpaid for a fancy journal type book. That’s all they had and I had to have something to write on. Let me tell you how not write in that book once. Ha! Any who, after a quick stop at the cafeteria so Joe could grab some breakfast, up to the 2nd floor we went to register with the surgery department. We were then taken to the pre-op room where I had to use those icky wipes again and changed into my gown. Then it was a haze of nurses, my surgeon, and the anesthesiologist. After a little over an hour it was time to go in. I don’t remember much after that, just flashes of the recovery room and then hours later waking up to Joe’s voice talking to me. There’s not a whole lot to say about the actual hospital stay, just that I was in much more pain then I thought I would be in. I really don’t think that I ever thought about the pain that I would be in. They x-rayed my stomach on Tuesday to make sure that there were no leaks. Everything was all good. I could start taking liquids. Wednesday I was released and Joe came to take me home. We stopped at the store to get my meds and once we got home all I wanted was a shower. It was the best shower as I hadn’t bathed since Sunday night. The wipes they give you in the hospital don’t do a darn thing. I slept alright on Wednesday, better than I did in the hospital, but still not great. I pretty much relaxed on Thursday. Drinking was a chore. Every time I took a sip of something it felt weird. It’s hard to describe the feeling. Almost like a gas pain but also a nausea feeling as well. But I kept forcing myself to take slow sips. The drinking has improved since then. It’s not as hard as it was, but I still find myself not drinking enough liquid throughout the day. I’ve been drinking more and more but still not there. I started getting out and walking on Friday. I’ve been taking two short walks every day. Each day I go farther. Today I got up to half a mile. Just taking it slow. This is the last week of just liquids which makes me ecstatic. Even though the next step is just puree, I’ll be happy to have texture again. The nutritionist said that there are certain foods that you actually have to puree, other things you can smash with a fork….which will be what I will be doing. But until then, I’m trying to make the best of the liquid. Thanks again for reading….and keep reading each week for more!