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I went clothes shopping on my lunch break today. All of my pants are (finally) getting too big to wear. I decided since the weather is getting nicer that I would treat myself to a pair of capris jeans. The cute kind. My highest size was a size 20. I hated being a 20 because most stores don't carry that size, and since I was too embarrassed to shop in the plus size section, or heaven forbid, a plus size store, I bought everything online. Which meant I often wore clothes that I hated (clothing rarely looks the same in real life as it does online on the model!) and clothes that didn't fit (because I couldn't try it on). I still don't like clothing shopping. I actually hate it. But I needed some new clothes desperately. So as I was grabbing jeans I started picking up size 14s, because all of my size 16 clothes are too big. Just for fun, I grabbed one pair of size 12 jeans, thinking if they looked okay I could maybe get them for motivation. But guess what?!?! They fit! Granted, they look more like sausage casings than they do jeans ... but I didn't have to lay down to get them on or do a funny jumping dance! The size 14s would have fit (and probably look) better ... but holy smokes! I can fit in a size 12! Me! I can't even believe this. But seriously, that's what happened today! If I get brave, maybe I'll post a picture of me wearing them.

Hello everyone I'm a fit bit user and I've just signed up for my first 5k walk happening near the end of this month. yesterday I decided that it would be good if I tried to walk further. I've gone just over 10,000 steps only one time. I had to drop my car at the shop and I thought that rather than taking the shuttle, that I'd walk home. I mapped things out using something called "google pedometer". I have zero idea if it's accurate. But after fiddling with this I decided on a route that I thought I knew. Turns out I didn't know, and I got lost, and I ended up walking for an hour and 44 minutes before I finally found my way home. Later yesterday I found a 4 week course upcoming on Power Walking (different from Race Walking) that started last night. It was pouring here with rain, and I figured I go as it being the first course was likely just going to be examples or videos or diagrams...noooooooooooo Out we went into the driving rain. An hour and 1/2 later all totaled, I'd walked over 22,000 steps. And I lived which inspires me because it tells me that I can do much more than I think I can, that I work against rather than with my brain at times. Now today I'm taking it easy. Despite an epsom salt soak, I'm still sore. I did take the doggie out for her walk, but we didn't hurry. Power Walking is about walking quickly but with precision so that you are efficient. Race walking requires a gait that I'm not comfy with at all. I'm excited for this class as I want to improve my form, my distance, and my time. Push yourself. What can you do that you think you can't? Nancy

I'm being released!! Other than feeling a bit weak and wonky, I feel good! Pain is controllable and nausea is very, very minimal. Gas pains, when they shift, are awful, though. Oh, and my whole body is swollen, especially my face, from all the IV fluids I received. Thanks for all the prayers and good thoughts! Hope you are all doing well. ❤️????

I'm not too sure if anyone reads these blogs, so I'm mostly writing this for my future self. I want something to look back on so that I can see progress and feel like I made the best decision for myself. Life at almost 200 pounds overweight is not so hot. Everything hurts, all the time, especially my back and my legs. Climbing stairs is a minor torture, and picking things up off the floor is almost beyond me. It's hard to put on my socks. It's hard to clip my toenails. I can't rush out to the store and buy a last-minute outfit for some unexpected event, because even the "fat lady stores" don't stock my size. I have to order things off the internet. Putting on seat belts is hard. Clipping my toenails is hard. I have high cholesterol, fatty liver disease, severe sleep apnea, and borderline diabetes. Walking anywhere is so painful that I've thought about zipping around stores in one of those electric carts, but I'm not yet ready to be "the fat lady on the cart" that people snap pictures of on their cell phones and send to their friends. I've only been this heavy for maybe 7-8 years, and it's already wreaking havoc on my body. God only knows how I'd feel in 10 or 20 years if I didn't do something drastic now. If I'd even be alive in 10-20 years. I realize surgery is going to hurt. It might hurt a lot, and there's a chance that it'll hurt for a long time. I've read some pretty hair-raising stories on these forums. But being really, really fat hurts too. If I start to regret the surgery in the future, I hope I look back on this entry and remember.