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I woke up this morning hurting. I think it's more because I slept the night flat on my back. I like to sleep on my sides a good bit so it makes sense why my back might be hurting. I also still feel the pressure in my middle chest from the gas bubble. I'd like to know when that is going to finally end. My port incision is very tender and sore and hurts. Today I take a shower....yeah! The bloating seems to be going down from the surgery. My tummy doesn't feel quite as hard as surgery date. I'm so tempted to get on the scales to see if I've lost any, but what I've read from previous other blogs, I think I want to wait. I went in to this knowing that the best method for me is to lose weight slowly...maybe 1 lb a week. It's hard not to get excited and think I've lost more. I was soooo happy when I weighed in before surgery and found that I was down to 228 lbs from 235 lbs. I haven't lost that kind of weight in awhile so it's hard not to get excited. I have found that the broth soups seem to be enough to keep me full. I ate a total of 4 cups throughout the day yesterday. It would get cold but it tasted good enough when I would feel hungry. My boyfriend would eat his food and I have to admit that I really wanted to snack on some of his chips & salsa BUT I realized it was out of habit more than actually being hungry. THAT is what this journey will help me with....hopefully to get my emotional eating under control for the first time in my life. It's so strange to me to be talking about my actual weight in public, but this is a safe website (right?) to do just that. All of you understand my apprehension, right? I'm so SICK of being this heavy, but I've made a choice to do something GOOD. I feel hope for the first time in I don't know how long that I can actually lose the weight that I've been dreaming about for what seems like forever. Now I have a "tool" that will help me to lose it and keep it off for the rest of my life IF I choose to do the legwork. That means no liquid calories...binge eating ice cream, heavy laden soups filled with cream and dairy that I don't need (just to name a few). I feel hopeful that I'm finally going to be able to bend down to pick something up off the ground and not be out of breath in the process of embarrassed for someone to see me struggle to do so. I'm so looking forward to the day that I can look in the mirror in the morning when I've finished dressing for work and instead of seeing the bulging checks and neckline filled with fat that I will see healthy lean face. There may be sagging skin...I'm keeping my fingers crossed it won't be too bad, but that will be better than all this fat covering me now. I want to wear a blouse that I don't see my tummy folds pressed against the fabric and then have to walk away knowing that I'm too fat to look any different. Sure, I can keep buying bigger and bigger tops, but they just make me look like a fat woman that needs something to cover up with. Not a curvaceous woman, but a FAT woman that has no choice but to wear FAT clothes. Today I live with hope that one day in the near future, I will look in the mirror and smile, a genuine smile because I actually "like" what I'm seeing. Amen!

The first new day of the rest of my life began yesterday. My appointment to be at the surgery center was 9:00 Am...I got there at 8:32 Am, hungry, nervous, anxious, excited for the future...all the norm (so I was told). Everyone from Susie the front desk assistant to the pre-op nurse, Natissa (I think that was her name), to Julie-OP nurse, surgeon Dr. Shawn Stevenson (very nice and comforting), the Anesthesiologist (I want to say Ted but can't remember....was a funny guy) to Carrie my post-surgery nurse....ALL were very comforting and made me feel like I was very special the whole way out the door. Hah! Everything went accordingly. I woke up with a really sore throat and a huge gas bubble in the middle of my chest (which I was forewarned could happen). Those were the things I noticed the most and then I felt the pain of the incisions, so Carrie asked if I needed pain meds/drip and I said YES PLEASE! So she loaded me up with Demerol which helped, but that darn gas bubble was the worse. All I could think about was letting out one great big huge BELCH but nothing, nadda, zip, nuel, zero. Ugh! So I continued on. Carrie told me I could get up whenever I felt like it. I told her I wanted to do it then so off to the bathroom we went. Thank goodness she accompanied, I felt like a little baby needing to get dressed. I probably should have waited a bit longer, but in all the information/tons of reading done pre-op, I had it in my mind that they want you up and moving ASAP. I was bound and determined to be superwoman....for about a minute! By then my beautiful daughter was by my bedside asking me how I was. I think I told her okay/fine or something of the sort OR I may have vocalized rather loudly how much I just wanted to BELCH. She laughed. Since I must have been impressive in my superwoman state of mind, Carried started preparing me to leave. She removed my IV and made sure I had plenty of sipping water for the bubble pressure. She checked all my vitals and then said I was good to go if I wanted to leave. That's when the nausea kicked in BIGTIME! Unfortunately since she had already removed the IV, I had to wait to take the meds that I thankfully had filled the night before and brought with me. So my daughter left to pull up to the exit and Carrie wheeled me to the car, helped me and waved good bye telling me to make sure to take my meds right away and call if I had any problems. My daughter immediately stopped at the first convenient store and got me some water for my meds. I took them immediately and I believe the nausea went away shortly afterward. I wasn't thinking right because I forgot that the nausea meds were dissolving tablets that melted on your tongue. Oh well...it helped. Homeward bound in the middle of noon-rush hr traffic...one hour later we arrived home. First thing I did was get my GAS-X strips and took one for the intensely insane gas issue. It really hurt and my throat felt like I had strep or something similar. Water was my best friend beside the Gas-X. Eventually I let out a little "urrp" enough for my daughter to laugh at me. She's usually the one that does the loud burping and I'm constantly after her to use her manners (best she can) to be as lady-like possible. But now I know when you got one of the bubbles in the midst....LET IT OUT! Of course I burp...everyone does, but it feels SOOOO goood. Matter of fact - as I'm writing this one just came out...yippee! So the rest of the day pretty much was a blend of trying to lay down, but getting back up, doing some walking, doing the lung thingie, taking meds, back to bed, walk a little more, do another round of lung exercizing, try to belch again & again, sip some water to ease the throat soreness, etc., etc., etc. I also took a vitamin C and Fish Oil caplet to get some nutrients in since I'll be living off of broth for the next week. I was very careful to take them each slowly. Was successful, felt no pressure/pain in swallowing them. I thought for sure I'd want to sleep all day & night, but I had the worst insomnia bout...I just couldn't get to sleep. I didn't feel so much the pain of the incisions as the gas pressure as it started to move under my left breast and back area. It's still with me today; not as bad but it's there. Today - my incisions hurt and I feel stiff and groggy/sleepy. I finally went to bed about 6:00 AM (I think) when I finally fell asleep until about 10:00 AM. While laying there waking up, I thought I don't feel any pain (nothing excruciating) so maybe I could forego the pain/nausea meds until later when I truly needed them. But as I got up to pee...my body immediately told me I wasn't SILLY for thinking I didn't need to take my meds FIRST THING! I'm also hungry...enough to start the broth thingie. So I took my meds, regular meds (Nature Throid for hypothyroidism) and my daily multi-vits/supplements. I'm a big naturopathic healthcare nut when it comes to vits/supps. I've never been able to do well at following a good healthy eating plan, so the vits/sups help as back-up. I see a Naturopathic Doc (ND) regularly which was part of my reason to finally do something about my weight. She's been wanting me to lose weight for the 5+ years I've been seeing her and although I've lost weight at times, I never kept it off. Sadly, I'm heavier today than I was when I first started seeing her. Ugh! But that will be another blog for another day. I'm getting tired and my broth is getting cold, so off to bed I go, hoping to get some much needed rest. I will check back in with you later. Thanks for stopping by. Nighty nite....

Yesterday I had my lap band put in. But before all of that, I want to back up and tell you about the last days of the pre-op diet. I have to say that I battled head hunger and maybe real hunger the entire time. I actually looked forward to SlimTime. Some days were very tough, and others seemed to sail by and that was great. I weighed myself at home using my scale because I won't always be weighing myself on their scale and I'm so pleased to say that I lost 15 pounds on the SlimTime, I was ecstatic. In any case - onto surgery I had my surgery at Smart Shape or otherwise known as the Surgical Weight loss center in Mississauga, ON on March 5th. I was in a tiny panic as traffic was absolutely awful, and I thought I'd built in travel time, but as it turns out - no. I was 10 minutes late, and the team was thankfully very gracious about it. I still waited probably 1/2 an hour. The staff there are the best, so caring, thorough and wonderful. I was taken into a room that had a heated comforter for me to be under, and I changed into the gown. I met with the nurse, we went over my medications, took my blood pressure and weight. Then I met the dietician and my care coordinator, both who are inspirational and very kind. Dr. Cobourn came in and we shared a laugh or two, and then the anesthesiologist came in, and we went through allergies and I told him how much I hate needles. He had a look at my veins and was hoping to put the iv in my hand. I told him that in previous surgeries that had been tried with no success he asked to try it anyway and I said yes. I was then led into the surgery room, and really, I never ever look around the room, I never ask questions, I just closed my eyes and spoke only when I had to speak. After trying my hand he gave up and used my arm. He gave me a relaxant of some type, and then told me it was time to go to sleep. He asked me to take two deep breaths after putting the mask on me, and next thing I knew I was awake in recovery. I had no nausea - YAYYYY and everything went as planned. I could hear the nurse talking on the phone to my beloved. I was eventually sat up in the bed, then asked to dangle my feet over the side, and then asked to get dressed. They had a hard time finding someone to go down with me to find hubby as the nurse couldn't leave as another patient was in the recovery room. I don't really remember the ride home. I slept most of yesterday but did get up and watched tv last night with hubby. I had a hard time sleeping last night. Maybe because I'd slept all day. Today I'm okay. I've walked a bit and will walk more. I want to feel better quicker and I know for me that as soon as I get out of a chair and moving a bit that that will help. I wish I could call all of you and thank you individually for all of the support I've received on this website. I'm truly grateful. I had a far better idea of how I would feel, of what to expect because of you! Nancy

Hello everyone! Today is day 3 of my pre op diet. Well...first let me give you my daily menu: breakfast: 1 scoop protein powder and 8oz milk morning snack: sugar free jello lunch: 1 scoop protein powder afternoon snack: sugar free jello dinner: 3 oz chicken, turkey, or fish with 2 cups salad or 1 cup cooked veggies. 1TB of dressing or oil and water.....water.....water......did I say water? So its the third day, I have had a headache now for three days to match. I think its the lack of carbs, maybe a carb withdrawl. Im not supposed to have caffeine, today I just poured a cup of coffee, and used a dash of my milk that was for my protein shake...I need to rid myself of the headaches, I cant deal with it all day. Im a bit tired and my brain is foggy. Ive read this happens on Atkin type diets from lack of carbs, and supposedly passes. PLEASE PASS QUICKLY. Once you get over the idea that you aren't going to eat you start to forget about it. All doctors have differet preps prior to surgery. What are yours? What about post op? Post op I am a week of the same diet I am on now and then followed by two weeks of pureed foods, then gradually into regular foods. When I did my pre op diet for the band it was similar to this, but no dinner, only liquids and one "cream of.." soup, strained a day. I dont remember being this lethargic or the headaches. I had my pre op appointment on Tuesday. I lost four lbs, which was nice. I also met with the exercise physiologist, who gave me post op instructions, the nutrionist, who gave me 4 one ounce cups to show me what I will be drinking/eating (4 cups is the total quanity to equal a half cup, for each is 1 oz) we practiced how I should sip after surgery, take a sip, breathe out, swallow slowly. The reason for this is to expel any gas from the tummy. Otherwise you get painful gas, and have to be BURPED, OMG! They also gave me a spoon, to remind me of the size bites I should eat..funny, my 7 month old has the same one! I met with my surgeon, he is awesome, he went over the procedure from the moment I am checked into the hosptial. Reassuring me of statistics and my safety. We discussed the dreaded drain that is used after surgery, the good news is, its taken out before I leave "phew" the bad news is...OMG THEY PULL IT OUT WHILE YOURE AWAKE! Finally I met with the nurse who showed me how I will inject my Heparin, 3 shots a day for two weeks, to avoid any clots. Yikes. I hate needles but I definitely dont want to suffer a stroke, embolism, or DVT. So, I will comply. I left with my prescriptions, my shopping list...and here I am today. I will keep you posted! I have to schedule my pre surgical clearance appt with my primary care doctor, and get some blood work too. Report back later. Take care! Jen