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Hello everyone. I have been reading everything but just haven't written much. I am busy with my family. My 95 year old mother's mind is getting worse. Last week she didn't recall my name. That sucks. My mentally challenged brother, he is 6 years older than me, is a handful. Tomorrow we are looking into adult day care for him. I hope it works. Today my oldest son is 39. Can't believe I have a child that old. I baby sat his son, Max the other night. Max is 14 months and priceless. Laughs, yells and loves to eat fruit. I belong to a gym and Friday was my first time there since November. I went yesterday and today and I feel much better about me. It was like starting over again. I went slow and didn't push myself but loved it. Do you know what you call people like me that pay and don't go to the gym?, profit! My husband won't get off his fat ass and go with me. A high school friend posted this, funny and dumb: I want to die like my grandfather, in my sleep, no pain not yelling and screaming like the people in his car. I have a weird sense of humor. Before the band my tops were either a 2 or 3 xl plus size woman's. Yesterday I bought a new sweat shirt, size misses large! Yeah! me! Now to just get rid of the muffin top which is my largest part of the body. Everyone have a great week. Thursday, Boston is either getting lots of snow or rain. They don't know yet. Arlene

Whew! I just got back from my third road trip in the past few weeks. I know I haven't been keeping you in the loop. I've been busy! I told you I was going to be gallivanting around the country. So I hope you'll forgive my tardiness. I have certainly felt the wrath of some of our more ardent followers. Believe it or not, there are few fatty fans out there who just can't live without this blathering blog. One or two are even a bit stalk-ish. (Note to FeelingFatInFinland: Yes, I got your e-mail. No, I won't send you a photo of my bare ass with all the stretch marks connected in red marker. I can't reach that far. Besides, if you really need to see something like that, a detailed road map of Cincinnati would probably do the trick.) (Note 2 to BiggunInBoston: The answers to your questions in order are: Yes, No, Three at a time, On my head, NEVER!, Boomerang, Oink oink baby and jelly.) That takes care of this weeks fan mail. I will share more in the future. OK, now to the news. As previously stated I have been on three roads trips in the last 3 weeks. Staying on my self prescribed 1200 calorie a day plan was difficult. Logging my food choices was not an option. Eating the right foods all the time was a struggle. Staying away from alcohol was impossible. The bad news is I gained about a pound and a half. But I think I 'll be able to dump that by Friday after a week of detoxing. I'm not upset. I'm right where I expected to be. I mean really. I spent a few nights in the foodie paradise of New Orleans and then 5 nights partying at a golf tourney in Palm Beach. Honestly, I feel pretty much unscathed. I really did watch my food intake. I ate every meal out. So I tried to eat the right fruits and fishes where possible. I watched my portions. Other than a small binge on plain M&Ms that were mistakenly sent to my room, I avoided all sweets. Pretty much a home run. Unfortunately, Johnny likes his booze. All flavors as a matter of fact. We all know that booze is a secret diet killer. The more you drink, the thinner you think. The thinner you think, the more you eat. It's a vicious circle. Clearly, Mr. Booze (or AL C. Hall as we know him) are the enemies of restraint. And I succumbed repeatedly to their liquor-i-ous offerings. Martinis, Cabernet's and Merlot. Greyhounds, Screwdrivers, Bloody Mari's and a frosty margarita. As a salute to the Olympics, I even sprinkled a few White Russians in for good measure. A regular cornucopia of adult beverages. Hell, I get it! It's back on the ol' wagon for me today. I'm tracking my food, I'm off the sauce and I might even try to get in a workout or two. I'm leaving for the Valley of the Sun in 3 weeks and 4 days. I'm planning on being under 180 when I get on that plane. SO let's do this. Phase 2 of the Deconstruction of Johnny has begun! I have about 28 more pounds to lose by May 2015 according to Dr. X. I might as well start now. BTW... I saw Dr. X before I left for Florida. I'll update you on that next time. Soooo long for now. Johnny FAT FANS! Send your questions and comments to: mccgolfer99@gmail.com I will answer any questions and read all comments. Who knows, you might even make the blog!

A hearty hello to all our fat fanatics worldwide! As another year comes to an end, I thought this would be an opportune time to do a little self reflecting. After all, it has been an interesting year for me to say the least. But first, I realize I have been derelict in getting you timely updates on my current status. Quite frankly, I was reluctant to keep posting because I was afraid of what the holidays and my short vacation were going to do to me. Well, I have good news to report. I am down about 2 pounds from the day before Thanksgiving through New Year's Eve! I wanted to be 185 on Thanksgiving. That didn't quite work out. But I was 186.5 today. WHEW! I am really pleased with this number. Why? Because I did an above normal amount of dinning out, family parties, traveling and, of course, the social drinking that comes along with it. I was very conscious of my food intake. When I dined out, I tried to order the right things, always protein. Save the sauces. At Thanksgiving, I loaded up on turkey and ham and passed on potatoes and gravies. On Christmas eve, I feasted on lobster, shrimp an calamari in red sauce. I only had a small mouthful of homemade lasagna to be polite. I also watched my drinking. You know I had to imbibe, so I drank my bourbon straight and my vodka on the rocks. I had a few excellent Cabernets. I even had two frosty beers. My first since March. All in all, I made it through the yearly bacchanal virtually unscathed. I consider this VICTORY. But I can only savor this achievement for a fleeting moment. Year in review - PHEW! 2013 has been a whirlwind to say the least. 1) My first appointment with Dr. X on a blustery January Monday 2) My first lap band support group meeting 3) My first ever visit to a shrink 4) My conversations with Rajeeve 5) My 14 day pre-op diet 6) My surgery 7) My first unauthorized cocktail The list goes on. Suffice to say, last year was a life changer for me. I sit before you today 68 pounds lighter than then the guy that wrote to you in April. That's whole lotta fatass folks. 2014 Resolutions - I have big news for you on this front. I saw Dr. X for my monthly tune up right before Christmas. After he gave me another 1/2 c.c injection, I offhandedly remarked that I wanted to lose about another 20 pounds to get me under my goal of 169. He immediately whipped a calculator out of his staff coat and started doing some ciphering. By way of some secret bariatric calculation, he tells my he wants be to be at 150 pounds! I was FLOORED. ME: "150 pounds? Are you serious? I mean I haven't weighed 150 pounds since 6th grade!" Dr. X: " I'm working from a BMI index. A 28.5 BMI is healthy, but a 25 BMI is golden! That puts you at 150 pounds." ME: "Is that 150 pounds here on the fat ass scale or 150 pounds in the morning naked on my home scale?" Dr. X: "I'll take the 150 on your scale." So I got that going for me. Then he asks me, "When did you have your surgery?" "May 15" I told him. "You haven't even been doing this a year! This is a TWO year project.' You could have knocked me over with a wet noodle. This whole time I was working on a ONE year time table. I was hoping to get to my goal in April. But our dear doctor just tagged on another 19 pounds of weight loss! At 2 pounds per month, that's about a year more. So I guess his math is correct. "You are doing great. You can do this and I will help you get there." he told me. Comforting words did little to ease my shock. But then I started thinking. What's changed? Really nothing. I have learned a new way of eating. I am watching my portions and I'm cutting as many empty calories as possible. So I have to keep counting my calories for another year. So what. I can do it. Can I really get to 150 pounds? Do I really want to be 150 pounds? I really don't know. I do know I have a ways to go to get rid of some excess ass and gut fat. I also know I don't want to be the weakling that gets sand kicked in his face at the beach. So when it comes to my new goal. I guess I'll know it when I feel it. I'll try and be more prompt with the next update. Until then ... Remember YOU CAN'T BE TOO RICH OR TOO THIN!