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Well after 7 weeks and an already monumental transformation of both weight and body shape as well as the nagging from my wife over the past two weeks in regards to how silly I look in my old "Fat" clothes I submitted and went shopping for my first new wardrobe (I say first as I think there'll likely be another new one before this is all finished!!). I was sleeved on the 19th Dec '13 and well there's been as many difficult moments as happy ones, it's a huge transition to make and bad habits die hard. My overriding decision to have this surgery though still holds true now because it was those choices that put me where I was, but not only the choices but the amount that I poured down my throat.................Now whether I want to or not my body simply will not tolerate it and to go against it means I actually lose a meal and those very important nutrients I need because too much now spells a trip to the toilet and a vomiting session. It's now been 2 weeks since my last session like that and i'm now both confident and comfortable in what I can eat, I've learnt to listen to my body where before I reacted through my eyes. I began as slave to the scales as all of us overweight people do jumping on every other day looking for that high generated from declining numbers, but then had two episodes where the number actually went up yet I knew within myself I was slimmer. It's now been 2 weeks since I last stepped onto the scales and I don't care what the numbers might say I know I've lost further weight and my biggest confirmation came over the weekend shopping for some new work and casual clothes................. At the commencement of my journey middle November '13 my clothing sizes were as follows: Pants - 112-117 (44-46) waist Shirt - 4xl (50 neck) Pullovers - (3xl - 5xl depending on label) As I said I knew and felt that I had dropped weight but us "Fat" people still look in the mirror and only see that Fat person we've known for so many years and don't register the new person emerging. So therefore I kept on wearing the big clothes, over sized t-shirts etc and would close my belt an extra loop each week or so. My wife kept telling me I needed to get some new clothes as i looked ridiculous in my old stuff. So finally I relented as I said above and cleaned out my old stuff of which I had to agree did now feel and look silly (some stuff was tight 3 mths ago and now are huge on me!!!). It's been over 15yrs since I was able to walk into a department store and shop from the rack, years...... My wife made it clear that we would not be just selecting the size I believed I was, we would be trying everything on and purchasing what fits firmly now to cope with the additional losses still to come...................My "Fat" mind was saying sure, sure this is gonna be a shameful and fruitless exercise, but I humored her and said ok. And here are my results..................... Pants - (Jeans, dress pants & shorts) 92cm waist Shirt - XL, dress shirt 43 Pullover - XL-XXL About 3/4 through this expedition I stopped and remarked to my wife that I was struggling to believe what was happening and was actually a little emotional, of course in the back of my mind I fantasized about being that slim person but you all know the drill after trying and failing for so many years it felt just that, a fantasy. But to actually now see the changes and feel the changes and see the sizes on the labels of the clothes was simply crazy I just couldn't comprehend it...............I can now though and I am so grateful I decided to take this step and am thrilled at the man emerging from that great shadow cast by the guy that occupied my body before........................

Well, not technically. But we forget that we have to work our minds in this process just as much as we work our body. If you are constantly thinking or saying negative things, then that is the energy you are putting out into the world and it is what you're gonna get back. A long time ago, I was sick of going to bed every night feeling anxious and laying there, having a thousand things a minute running through my mind. I decided, I want a quiet mind. When I couldn't go to sleep, I would stop myself and try to think of an image. You could pick anything, but for some reason, I always chose an apple. Sometimes green, sometimes red. I would picture the apple in my head. I would look at all of the details. The stem, was it long or short? Did it have that little rough edge on top? I would look at the body of the apple. Was there a shiny part? Were there little brown spots on the skin? How about the bottom of the apple? Did it have 3 or 4 little bump feet like red apples have or was it smooth? What about the little brown spot on the bottom. Was it rough? By doing this I was changing the focus of my mind. I was slowing it down. Sometimes, I would picture that apple for about 15 seconds before my mind was already back to racing thoughts. But after a bit, I would catch myself, and go back to the apple. Each time, doing my best to push all the other crazy thoughts aside. The more I did it, the easier it got to quiet my mind. Really, it's sort of a form of meditation. The same goes even during our waking hours. If we succumb to the negative thoughts, they will consume you. We have to learn to push them away. To ignore them until they disappear. I thought about this today at the gym. I spend a good part of my time there comparing myself to others, being self-conscious that I'm the fattest person there. Why do I have to have people running on both sides of me, when all I can do is walk? Do they purposely get on the treadmill next to me, so that they look better? All very negative thinking. And I keep reigning myself in. Stop it, Leigh! Stop thinking these negative thoughts. What does it matter? I don't even know these people. I don't care about them or what they think and I'm not gonna let these thoughts hinder my progress. I've found that as time goes on, it's easier for me to get rid of these and just focus on what I'm doing. The less you give into the negativity, the easier it is to get on with your life. So don't forget to work that muscle that is your mind. It really may be the most important part of this weight loss journey. We have to learn to control our mind. Bring the subconscious forward into consciousness and be truthful to ourselves, no matter how painful.

Whew! I just got back from my third road trip in the past few weeks. I know I haven't been keeping you in the loop. I've been busy! I told you I was going to be gallivanting around the country. So I hope you'll forgive my tardiness. I have certainly felt the wrath of some of our more ardent followers. Believe it or not, there are few fatty fans out there who just can't live without this blathering blog. One or two are even a bit stalk-ish. (Note to FeelingFatInFinland: Yes, I got your e-mail. No, I won't send you a photo of my bare ass with all the stretch marks connected in red marker. I can't reach that far. Besides, if you really need to see something like that, a detailed road map of Cincinnati would probably do the trick.) (Note 2 to BiggunInBoston: The answers to your questions in order are: Yes, No, Three at a time, On my head, NEVER!, Boomerang, Oink oink baby and jelly.) That takes care of this weeks fan mail. I will share more in the future. OK, now to the news. As previously stated I have been on three roads trips in the last 3 weeks. Staying on my self prescribed 1200 calorie a day plan was difficult. Logging my food choices was not an option. Eating the right foods all the time was a struggle. Staying away from alcohol was impossible. The bad news is I gained about a pound and a half. But I think I 'll be able to dump that by Friday after a week of detoxing. I'm not upset. I'm right where I expected to be. I mean really. I spent a few nights in the foodie paradise of New Orleans and then 5 nights partying at a golf tourney in Palm Beach. Honestly, I feel pretty much unscathed. I really did watch my food intake. I ate every meal out. So I tried to eat the right fruits and fishes where possible. I watched my portions. Other than a small binge on plain M&Ms that were mistakenly sent to my room, I avoided all sweets. Pretty much a home run. Unfortunately, Johnny likes his booze. All flavors as a matter of fact. We all know that booze is a secret diet killer. The more you drink, the thinner you think. The thinner you think, the more you eat. It's a vicious circle. Clearly, Mr. Booze (or AL C. Hall as we know him) are the enemies of restraint. And I succumbed repeatedly to their liquor-i-ous offerings. Martinis, Cabernet's and Merlot. Greyhounds, Screwdrivers, Bloody Mari's and a frosty margarita. As a salute to the Olympics, I even sprinkled a few White Russians in for good measure. A regular cornucopia of adult beverages. Hell, I get it! It's back on the ol' wagon for me today. I'm tracking my food, I'm off the sauce and I might even try to get in a workout or two. I'm leaving for the Valley of the Sun in 3 weeks and 4 days. I'm planning on being under 180 when I get on that plane. SO let's do this. Phase 2 of the Deconstruction of Johnny has begun! I have about 28 more pounds to lose by May 2015 according to Dr. X. I might as well start now. BTW... I saw Dr. X before I left for Florida. I'll update you on that next time. Soooo long for now. Johnny FAT FANS! Send your questions and comments to: mccgolfer99@gmail.com I will answer any questions and read all comments. Who knows, you might even make the blog!