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Today is my 6th day on my pre-op diet, and it has been the easiest so far. While I still find the shakes and vegetable concoctions in my recipe book nauseating, mentally I am finding it easier to get through it. I have no more sugar cravings or cravings for any junk food, which to me is a miracle. I never thought I could stop eating sweets so quickly. I am craving food, but mostly protein, like chicken and hard boiled eggs, and I would kill for some chicken broth! I'm not saying it's easy now. I'm still counting the hours until my surgery. Today I feel the best mentally that I have in months. My head feels clear. I'm not in a fog. I wonder if it also has something to do with cutting out the diet soda. I am using sugar free syrups in my shakes, but that's nowhere near the amount of artificial sweetener I consumed drinking 3 or 4 cans of diet soda every day. I know why I'm doing this. I have my goals in the forefront of my mind. Eight more days of revolting shakes and nothing else...I can do it!

Here is a breakdown of how I spent my 60 minutes today at the new gym we joined: 1 minute- deciding if I wanted to use the treadmill in the giant room with all of the exercise bunnies 2 minutes-picking out the treadmill and wondering where to put my sweatshirt I had taken off 1 minute- thinking I looked really new to this 1 minute- sneaking glances at the other people, noticing all the old people that were there and realizing that I was the fattest person there 45 minutes- walking on the treadmill While on the treadmill: 20 minutes- wondering how many people behind me were staring at my fat butt and hoping my pants weren't riding up the crack of my a$$. 5 minutes- doing fat girl adjustments to my clothes to make sure my belly wasn't hanging out 1 minute- trying to sneak glances to see how fast other people were walking 19 minutes- feeling good about my performance and listening to Pandora 80's Cardio Channel to get my groove on 5 minutes- trying out an elliptical machine for the first time. thinking wtf? this does not feel natural. 5 minutes- waiting for my hubby to finish his stuff and checking out the group classes and deciding we need to go to the beginning yoga class tonight. Really, it was great. I've been walking on my treadmill at home so I'm not totally out of shape. I must say that the presence of other people does motivate me to do better. I walked for 45 minutes at 3.0 to 3.4 mph. I felt good about my work out. Mostly I was happy that my husband and I went to the gym together. I have dreamed of this moment for years. That someday, he would become interested in something other than the television and we could do it together. I'm happy.

We are already in to week three of the year. How many of you made a resolution to lose weight? Did you promise yourself you were going to lose a few unsightly pounds, or are you thinking about losing the weight of a small Volkswagen? Well, I'm here to tell you that regardless of how much you want to lose, to be successful you've got to get right in the head first. There is a huge chasm between thinking about it and doing it. The first thing you need to do is ask yourself: "Self ... am I ready for this? Am I ready to severely change my life? Am I ready to rethink the way I look at food and drink? Am I ready to temporarily forego dinner parties, lunches, and various other social functions? Am I ready to make my weight loss the most important thing in my life? Am I ready to become more active? Am I ready to find a plan and stick to it? Am I ready to have patience? Am I committed to succeed? Well, are ya? If you have answered NO to any of the aforementioned questions, you probably need to rethink your resolution. Whether you're thinking of blowing out 5 pounds of baby fat or 100 pounds of fat ass, the commitment is the same. The only difference is the distance you may travel. Your 5 pounds may take a couple of weeks. Your 100 pounds may take a couple of years. I know this first hand. If you read my previous rant, you'll remember that Dr. X shocked me by telling me that my quest for Thindom is a 2 year journey. All the while, stupid me was banking on being done in one year. So if you're a "biggun" hitting for the fences, face the fact that you're going to be doing this for a while. Let's talk to possible Lap-Band candidates. Know this. Don't think you're going to go in for your first consultation and schedule a surgery date. That's what I thought. I went in on January 21, 2013 and thought I would schedule my surgery for a few weeks away. Right between some travel plans I had. Oh NAY NAY! I was given a laundry list of things that I needed to accomplish to get scheduled. My doctor told me if I was diligent, I could get it done in 5 months. Yikes! I saw numerous doctors, shrinks, exercise gurus, nutritionists and fat counselors. I went to group therapies and had batteries of test done. I did everything asked of me as quick as possible and it took me 4 months to get the food fighter installed. So potential Lap-Banders ... be ready for that! Another thing Lap-Band candidates must grasp. This Lap-Band contraption is nothing more than a tool. To be successful, you must find a diet plan your comfortable with and stick to it! Fact is, it will be a while after your surgery that you even feel the device working for you. In my case, it was at least 5 months of saline injections before I finally felt a small restriction. Even after 8 months, I still am not in the "green zone". My doctor and nutritionist discuss this every month at my check-in. And every month we're still tweaking it up a bit. It's all part of the process. Bottom line readers ... If you're trying to lose weight, it's gonna take commitment and time. I have read many blogs of newbie lap-band patients that are disappointed in their results. But if you read between the lines it's always the same. They got the surgery and they are sitting on their collective fat asses waiting for the pounds to melt away. Sorry. That just ain't gonna happen! Going into month 9, I am bouncing around the 70 pound loss number. I did it by carefully watching my calorie intake of both food and alcohol. I have gotten more active. Do I work out? Yes, but I ain't killing myself doing it. After all, my original goal was just to fit back into my Level 3 pants. I was never trying to qualify for the Olympics. I will get back to you when I am firmly under that 70 mark. Should be real soon! Johnny

Quick drastic weight loss is a strange experience. Don't get me wrong, I was fully prepared, after all it took over 10 years to finally break down and undergo surgery. After all the research, doctor's visits, and support groups/forums, I was prepared buuuuttt. I'm having trouble moving into the "skinny mindset". I eat like a skinny person, I don't have a choice since 95% of my stomach is gone. I'm becoming active like a skinny person with Fibromyalgia [there's only so much you can do with Fibro]. The problem is clothing. I still see myself as fat and think I should wear larger clothing. That's where having lots of children [young adults] in one's life helps. After being teased for wearing clothing that is too big [even though it is smaller than what I use to wear], I broke down and purchased items from stores I would have never dreamed I could patronize, Express, Old Navy, J C Penny, Victoria's Secret. Everyone thinks I look great but I feel they are too small. Oh well, I guess my self-perception will catch up with the physical as time goes by.

I had a busier day today. Did a few things around the house, and a little grocery shopping. I feel a little run down & the left side of my side / back hurts a little too (close to where my incision is, where the band was removed). Tomorrow I can start eating soft foods (not pureed). Only 2 tablespoons, and I think only 3 - 5 times for the day. I suppose it's better than sipping clear liquids. Basically,I'm looking at cream of wheat, low fat or FF smooth yogurt, creamy based soups, mashed potatoes made with milk & 1 tablespoon of melted cheese (oh, I can't wait for that), and SF puddings,,, a few more things but that's the gist of it. Hum, what to have for breakfast..... I can smell the little itty bitty bit of cream of wheat already... wonder if I can add a tad bit of nutmeg or cinnamon. It's not spicy or full of sugar so I hope so...

Well, it's official. My surgery is on the 27th. The good news is that my pre-op diet is only for 5 days and it won't be too much of an alteration of my current eating habits. From my research, I already had a good idea of what the pre-op diet was going to be like, just didn't know how long I would be expected to be on it. I had prepared myself mentally for a 2 week liquid diet. So it was really a surprise to hear that it is only 5 days and I can drink as much of the high protein/low carb shakes as I want and eat soups (like chicken noodle) as long as they don't contain high carb vegies like potatoes. I've already figured out a combination of dutch chocolate EAS carb control shakes with 1 scoop of Total Soy (chocolate) that tastes great and has a combined 30 grams of protein and 11 grams of carbs per 20 oz shake. I highly recommend getting a shaker bottle with the little ball spring inside. It really breaks up the Total Soy powder making a smooth creamy shake. I bought a 2 pack at Sam's club for $12, and I saw them at Wal-Mart for $7 each. But with the 2 pack I can keep one at work and one at home. I figure I'm having the same thoughts and feelings as others in the pre-op stage. So I wanted to share a moment I had last week that makes me laugh at myself now. I had a small panic attack until I realized how stupid it was. I actually got worried that post op, I wouldn't be able to eat as much I as I could in the past. Stupid, right? But I guess it plays on my basic fear of change. How am I going to handle being thinner and how people will react and treat me at work and socially. As it is, I have 40 years of knowing how people treat the fat me. Now, I have to worry about how people will treat me as a thin person.