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I have not been around as much lately and several LBT friends have asked why…… I was banded in February of 2012, lost 80 pounds in 10 months and have maintained that weight until I had a tummy tuck on Halloween… After the surgery I had 2 drains, they were removed after 2 weeks. Within 5 days, my tummy filled up with fluid and my doctor drained it (this is like drilling for oil with a really BIG needle….. not fun!). Within about 5 days my tummy was full again so my doctor put a drain back in. The next week the area above my belly button filled up with fluid and I had another drain put in just below my bra line. About a week later I had the upper drain removed & that issue was resolved, BUT…. I was still accumulating over 50cc of fluid a day from my lower drain. Doc said the magic number was less than 20cc a day for 2 days in a row, well that wasn’t happening. So on Monday doc flushed Ethanol thru the tubing of my drain into the pocket in my tummy (100cc total). This is supposed to irritate the area between my skin & abdomen wall and cause it to stick together. Today (Thursday) I am still getting 30cc of fluid a day from my drain…… I go back to the doctor Monday. My options are, do the flush again and if that doesn’t work…..another surgery. Ugh Complications happen, I know that. But, how has this affected me mentally? Well, I can’t exercise (every time I do the amount of fluid goes up), I can’t go in my hot tub with my husband (open incision), Have this glamorous drain to carry around in my pocket….. IT SUCKS! And I have gotten very depressed over it. I have disconnected from my life lines (Local support group, LBT wait I mean Bariatric Pal, and my family) Yes I looked to food for comfort. (We won’t even add the holidays on top of all this….) So you wonder….how is my weight? I am about 10 pound over my original goal weight (I weigh between 177-180, depends on the day). But even more important is how I am mentally? I will be honest, I am struggling. I am pissed, why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? WHY? Oh WHY? OH WHY????? Full on pitty me party here!!!! This is my confession, I am not the perfect role model. I struggle, I have pitty me parties, I ask why me…… and so I stayed away from my support. Too many people saw me as inspiration. How can I be inspiration when I am like this???? I am taking my complications day by day. I am not giving up (& yes the tummy tuck was worth it). I just don’t think I can motivate anyone right now.

I cant believe it but i have not eaten not even a bite of processed food in over 2 weeks. The only drinks i have had are cold water and Almond Milk. My whole family jumped on board, so we sold all our unopened processed food to friends, and stocked up on healthy spelt and almond flour, rapadura/panela sugar and coconut sugar, and a heap of fresh veggies and some fruit (we are not big fruit fans, we like it but dont crave it) . I and my eldest son drink almond milk as dairy milk makes us feel sick, so instead of soy milk we turned to the healthier and much more tastier Almond Milk. My youngest son and my husband drink full cream dairy milk, as fat free milk has a higher sugar content and has traces of white paint (as it needs to look like milk since all the fat/white stuff has been removed) and the full cream has healthy fats that the body can process easier anyway. I have stuck to my high protein 1/2 cup of food per meal every day and so far in 5 weeks have lost 16 pounds. So happy with that effort. When i went to say hi to my medical clinic staff, they were amazed by the transformation my face and belly are making. The nurse said my facial skin looks so beautiful and healthy, so i told her about going off all processed foods and drinking almost a gallon of water a day and she was so happy for me. A few other people commented how great my skin looks. I am so excited with this change and have so so SOOOO much more energy.

good to see you AJ and understand the struggles you are having...maybe not the extent you are experiencing but i can def (feel) your mental anguish, your being down on your self...you ARE most def loved by this forum and by your family and your friends and even Sammy Hagar......YOU are amazing....... you are and continue to be a success a great inspiration and one helluva woman. much love to you your friend forever VA

I hope things get better for you , sometimes there are set backs after having major surgery , just try to remember why you wanted to be banded in the first place after losing your weight and looking and feeling more healthy , you will be able to do that again and other things you want , start back at pre op diet then go to post op diet or do the 5 day pouch test and see if that helps to get the 10 lbs off that you have gained , we won't beat you up or scold you , however , being depressed or stressed is what got us to our thinking and eating the way we did , just try to remember that you have that little tool that sometimes just needs to be cleaned and polished as you will be more polished soon enough and be able to shine even more.